A Pair of Ruby Slippers
by vanillaninja2032
Summary: IMPORTANT NOTE! PLEASE READ!
1. Ruby Slippers

Disclaimer: Hello, Zorro here, with Phantom, my trusty associate. We are here to tell you that we do not own the Phantom of the Opera or any of it's characters. All we own are Alex, Charlie, Robin, and the plot. This is the only disclaimer we will do, yeah.

We would also like to tell you not to take candy from strangers. They could kidnap you, or poison you, or it could be filled with nitroglycerin…….

Anyway, just a friendly tip from you RAFT co-creators. Just so you know, this fic contains mass amounts of chaos, disaster, sugar high teenagers, and many plot twists. You have been warned. Read at your own risk. Tenga un viaje seguro y feliz. Now to the fic!

Chapter 1

Ruby Slippers

Two girls, both tall and in their late teens, walked silently together on the grass trying to make as little noise as possible. The first figure had long curly red hair, and green eyes, she jumped the fence and waited for her friend to follow suit. Her friend was almost as tall as she was, and had wavy blonde hair past her shoulders. She too hopped the fence and started walking with her friend.

"Why are we coming in this way Alex?" the blonde asked.

"Because she'll hear use if we use the front door, and she'll make a run for it, and I need my phantom key chain back. She took my keys with it this time, and I need them to get home. That's why Robin."

The two girls opened the back door and stepped into their friend's house. They made their way down the hall to the room their friend occupied. Not even bothering to knock they entered only to see a very strange sight.

A short brunette with blonde highlights stood in the middle of the room, an instruction manual in one hand, and bright red shoes on her feet. Red shoes that looked exactly like the ruby slippers from the Wizard of Oz.

"Uh, Charlie what are you doing?" Alex asked, afraid to know the answer.

Charlie jumped two feet in the air and turned around to face her friends.

"Hey guys what's up?"

"You have my key chain."

"Oh I do, don't I, one of these days I've got to learn how to control my phantom stealing impulses. Here" Charlie handed Alex back her keys.

"What's with the shoes?"

"Well I was on the internet the other day when I ran across this guy. We started talking and he told me he could get these shoes that this one girl used to go where her heart truly desired. So I thought, where's the one place I desire to be? That is wherever Erik is. So I told the guy I'd take them. I'm going to go find Erik and lively happily ever after or something."

"Charlie you do realize this guy was probably lying right?"

"You doubt the word of CrookedJack756?"

"Yes, yes I do."

"Well I'll prove it to you. There's no place like Erik's house, there's no place like Erik's house." Charlie chanted while clicking her heels together.

"See Charlie it's not workin-"Robin started, until she noticed an odd light surround her friend.

"Oh shit! Grab her!" Alex screamed.

"There's no place like Erik's house." Charlie finished just as Alex and Robin grabbed her, and the three girls faded into nothingness.

A white and gray cat walked in to a room expecting to see her master only to be greeted by a lone key chain with a white mask on it.


	2. Meeting Erik

Hello again, Zorro here, just warning you that my Spanish in this chapter really sucks. Yes there is Spanish here, remember Erik was a genius and knew like ten languages. Random RAFT tip of the day: Don't get in cars with strangers, they might run you off a cliff. Tip of the day provided by Phantom.

Chapter 2

Meeting Erik

A figure cloaked in darkness sat at an imposing organ playing a painfully heart wrenching melody. Something he seemed to be doing more and more lately. It was either play his music, or think about her.

Her, Christine the women he loved more then his music, the women he would die, and kill for. The women he lost. She left him. She left him for a foolish young nobleman, who could never truly appreciate or understand her. She had left, and he had let her. He wanted her to be free, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

The dark figure known as the opera ghost, or lesser known as Erik, paused for a second from his music, only to hear a large crashing sound from his living room. Stealthily he stood and grabbed his Punjab lasso, and left to investigate.

The three girls lay tangled in a mass of body parts on the floor. Removing herself from the others, Charlie stood with a large grin on her face. "See I told you it would work, don't trust guys on the internet you said. Those shoes won't work you said. Well guess what guys they did. I'm right you're wrong. Take that."

"Shut up Charlie, just shut up."

"You're mean today Alex what's wrong did you find out Legs was gay?"

"LEGOLAS IS NOT GAY! AND DON'T CALL HIM LEGS! I just don't like being dropped from nine feet in the air."

"Well how was I supposed to know the shoes would drop us off in the air?"

Alex was about to retort when she saw a dark figure creep up behind Charlie.

"Oh shit" Alex mumbled. Faster then she could blink Charlie had the Punjab around her neck and looked happier then she had ever been in her entire life.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my home?" Erik menacingly asked in perfect English, granted he had a thick French accent, but his English was still flawless. Robin looked at Charlie, who had a grin on that would make the Cheshire cat envious. She started counting down to three as Charlie loosened the lasso, removed it from her neck and proceeded to glomp the phantom.

Erik was taken back. No one had ever escaped from his Punjab lasso, and no one had ever willingly touched him. To say he was in shock would be an understatement.

"How?" Erik choked out.

Robin sighed as she proceeded to try to pry Charlie off of Erik. "You see she practices on her self at home. You have no idea how often we've walked in on her when she was about to hang herself. She always said it would be a useful skill. Charlie get off of him he can't breathe, and then this whole trip would be pointless."

Erik could feel himself able to breathe again as the girl quickly detached herself from him. He looked gratefully at the blonde and decided he would kill her last. The short one would go first, she was still to close for comfort.

"I would like to know how you came to be in my house before I kill you."

Alex decided she would take it upon herself to explain seeing as Charlie probably couldn't form complete sentences, and would get them killed even faster.

"Okay, okay don't kill us. I'm Alex, that's Robin, and I believe you've already had an introduction to Charlie." Erik shudders and looks at the brunette, being carefully held back by the blonde. Yes, he would definitely kill her last. "You see we're from the future around the year 2006."

"Mademoiselle, it is hardly appropriate for a young lady to be doing drugs."

"Hypocrite." Charlie muttered.

"You bastard! ¿Hago las drogas? ¡Usted hace las drogas!"

"Usted es obviamente delusional."

"¡Cómo atrevimiento usted! ¡Le odio!"

"No cuido."

"¡Usted hombre swishy negro alto estúpido del capote!"

Robin and Charlie, meanwhile, simply watched with their mouths open. Neither of them spoke a word of Spanish, despite Alex's valiant efforts. Of course it was her duty. She was Zorro, and one can not be Zorro without speaking Spanish. It was weird though, seeing as she was actually German.

"...ao usted tiene un acento extraño. Ha ha."

"Sus insultos son crudos y uneffecting."

Running out of insults in Spanish Alex promptly pulls out her cell phone. "See, I'm not on drugs. I may be addicted to rum, but I am not on drugs. This is a cell phone, see look at the date and all its amazingness."

"That does not explain why you are here."

"Oh that's my doing, you see I bought these ruby slippers, and decided to come here, but they tried to stop me so now we're all here, funny, huh Erik?" Charlie rattled off, still staring wide-eyed at him.

"How do you know my name?"

"Cause there was a book and a movie and another movie, and some other books, and a musical and a TV mini series about you, and a plushie I have sitting on my bed." Erik blinked, "you see in thirty or so years this guy is going to write a book about you, and it eventually becomes a huge success, cool huh?"

"Well take your ruby slippers and go home." Erik looked expectantly at Charlie.

"Uh well you see I can't, the shoes kind of disappeared when we got here." Erik growled deeply.

"Fine you will stay here. I can not have you telling the entire world about me." Erik didn't even finish before he realized what a stupid thing he had just done.


	3. The Raiding of Erik's Wine

Hello again, this is Zorro. This chapter is extremely demented so yeah.

RAFT tip of the day: If he looks like a rapist, if he talks like a rapist, if he acts like a rapist, chances are he's a rapist STAY AWAY. Tip of the day provided by Phantom.

Zorro: Also, we must thank Tonto, for so far, he is our ONLY REVIEWER! Come on you slackers, we know we've gotten over 60 hits, so if you read it, PLEASE REVIEW! Or we'll think you hate it and quit writing it.

Chapter 3

The Raiding of Erik's Wine

"……..and that's how Charlie got the slippers on the internet."

"I see, thank you for that rather lengthy explanation. So tell me, do all females in your time dress like men and have names like men?"

"Cierre para arriba! Usted es el que esta' con ropas estúpidas!"

"Alex! Speak English!"

"Muy bien."

"You see Erik, around the later half of the nineteenth century women start to discover the true wonder of pants," Charlie began "you see, men have never been forced to wear a corset or a dress, if you did you would never make women wear them. As for our names, well Robin's dad is a transvestite and wanted his child not to discern between the genders, so he named her a name that could go either way.

As for my name, you see my parents had a deep obsession with Charlie Brown, a pictured story from our time, so they decided to name all of their children after characters. I got off lucky, two of my brothers are Snoopy, and Linus, but my little brother is Lucy. If I told you Alex's real name she would kill me."

"What is it, Alexandra?"

"Something like that."

"Alexis, Alexander, Alejandro, Alexa, Alexia….."

"Well you're close."

"ITS ALEJANDRA ALRIGHT! But Alex for short."

"Thank you Alex for that random outburst." Robin quipped.

"Well seeing as you are in this time you'll have to blend in better. I will retrieve gowns for your use in the morning. For now I shall escort you to your sleeping quarters." He stood up, and the girls started following him. Charlie was about to speak up when she noticed they had walked past the Louis Phillipe room, and continued walking until he reached a door and opened it with a key he pulled out from a pouch.

"Uh Erik isn't this the…"

"Torture chamber, yes."

"Why? You're trying to kill us aren't you?" Robin questioned.

"Calm yourself. I have no intention of killing you right now. I am not going to have you sleep in a room with anything valuable in it. I promise I shall not torture you, at least not yet."

"Well this makes me feel better."

Later that night…….

"Shhh, he'll hear us!"

"Ouch, Alex that was my foot!" Robin limped on one foot and accidentally tripped over Charlie, who was kneeling on the ground, rummaging through what appeared to be a small wine cabinet.

"Ahhhh, my eyes!" When Robin tripped over Charlie, she also knocked over the torch Alex had been carrying, and the oil had splashed on the floor in front of Charlie.

"Great job Robin, you killed Charlie, now how are we supposed to get wine?"

"I'm okay, look I've almost got it, you guys check and see if he's coming." In reality, Charlie knew he was still occupied, you could hear him playing his organ upstairs through the floorboards. She secretly took out two more wine bottles and stuffed them into her jacket.

"The coast is clear, come on we need to get back to our, uh, torture chamber, without him noticing." Charlie, still fumbling on the floor, got up and started sneaking out of the room. Alex and Robin looked at each other, shrugged, and followed her out.

After successfully making it back in without being noticed, they gleefully sat down in a circle on the floor to examine their wares. Charlie had swiped six bottles of wine from Erik's cellar. How she fit them all into her jacket, well, nobody knows.

"What kind is it?" Alex leaned over eagerly, examining one of the dusty bottles.

"Duh, red wine. Note the obvious red color." Robin expertly inspected two at once, "But I'm afraid we're going to need a wine opener."

"Charlie quick! Do you have one in your emergency supply pack?"

"Let's see, I've got tampons, makeup, shoelaces, nitroglycerin, .22magnum, condoms, and, yup, here's my emergency wine opener."

"Wow. Okay, anyway, give it here." Robin screwed the wine opener into the cork, and yanked it out. Charlie immediately grabbed the bottle from her and started chugging it. Alex and Robin watched open mouthed as she finished the entire thing.

"That was amazing….Robin open me one!" Robin popped the cork on another bottle of wine, which was immediately taken from her by Alex. She too, started chugging her wine bottle. Robin stared at the two of them, before shrugging and opening her own bottle.

About two hours later, Erik had thoroughly exhausted his fingers, and decided to see how much damage the three mademoiselles had caused. Leaving his room he instantly became suspicious when he heard no noise. Walking down the hallway, he noticed their door was ajar, and a stream of light was coming from it. He approached it cautiously, then pressed the door open slowly, going to stand in the doorway. He stared.

"Do you have any threes?"

"I got threes, do yooooou have any threes Erik?" Erik stared open mouthed at the trio of girls that were seated on the floor of his torture chamber. Empty wine bottles littered the floor around them, as they had found the two Charlie had stolen earlier. All three of them was missing some article of clothing. Alex was void of her shirt, Robin was missing her socks and shoes, and Charlie was missing her pants. Robin had a visor on her head, and a large pile of Charlie and Alex's clothes sitting beside her.

"Well girls, that wraps it up. Alex lost. Oh hello Erik. We're playing strip-go fish. Man those girls sure can't hold their alcohol." She looked calmly up at him. He stared at her in absolute horror, then over at the other two girls. He panicked and quickly covered his eyes. He had never met women with such a total disregard for modesty before! Or what strange undergarments. That was one weird corset Alex was wearing, it barely covered anything! He was certainly glad that it covered what it did though, how humiliating!

"What do you think you are doing? You stole from my wine cellar and got the two of them drunk? For gods sake, get some clothing on them immediately!"

"Alex lost, Alex lost, ha ha ha." Charlie tipped over onto the floor. "That means you have to take it all off! Strip, strip, strip." she chanted from her place on the floor.

"Okay." Alex tried to unclasp her bra, but, being drunk, fell over instead.

"Ha ha I'm bleeding." Erik sighed, slapped his hand over his eyes and left to get the girls some proper clothing. Erik returned a few moments later only to find the trio passed out. He bent down, and picked up the pile of clothes by Robin. He then stood up and threw blankets, and clothes at them. Then he proceeded to lock them in, in case they woke up. He did not feel like dealing with drunken teenagers that day.


	4. Plan Gerry

RAFT tip of the day: Beware the dark and unlit alleyways, for they almost certainly contain rapists. If you do go down one, you are stupid and unworthy of saving. Good day. Just incase you haven't already figured this out, I, Zorro, am Alex, and Phantom is Charlie. Robin is one of our friends, whose RAFT identity has not yet been revealed for her protection. And I actually am a ballerina. You are envious of me now, I can feel it. There is much fop bashing in this chapter. We brought out his inner idiot. It wasn't too hard to locate.

And special thanks to The Magic Pickle Fairy, for being the only person to review chapter 3. We love you! As for the rest of you, we have over one hundred hits, don't think you can hide that from us. Please review!

Chapter 4

Plan Gerry

The next day the girls awoke only to discover they were looked inside the torture chamber. "Guys do you remember what happened last night?"

"I remember breaking into Erik's wine cellar, and something about threes."

"Oh, my head is killing me, what about you guys?" Robin looked at Charlie and Alex, who looked at each other and shrugged.

"I feel fine, what about you Charlie?"

"Fresh as a daisy. The co-creators of RAFT don't get hangovers, for we are too amazing." Robin glared at them and mumbled something about stupid and the lack of advil.

"Why are we locked in?" Alex said, "And how do we get out?" Alex and Robin looked expectantly at Charlie.

"Yesh, just 'cause I'm the resident phantom expert doesn't mean I know everything." The two continued to stare at Charlie. "Okay so I do know how to get out, but I refuse to go anywhere without pants! Why don't I have any pants?"

"Here put these on." Robin said tossing Charlie a dress and corset.

"Robin these aren't pants. Do I really have to explain what pants are to you?"

"Shut up. I don't know where our clothes are, wear these, I'm sick of staring at your penguin underwear." All the girls reluctantly put on the dresses and corsets, well Charlie, and Robin did so reluctantly.

"I'm a pretty pretty princess. Weeeeeee pretty pretty princess."

"Alex, aren't you supposed to be Zorro? Alex stopped spinning suddenly and posed dramatically.

"You're right! I'm not a pretty princess, I'm actually a ruggedly handsome Spaniard!"

"Alex, you're not Spanish."

"I know! Isn't it great?" Alex immediately started spinning in circles again, singing about how she was such a handsome Spanish man.

"Alex! Stop twirling around and help us out!"

"Fine I'll help, so why is there a tree in here?"

"DO NOT QUESTION ERIK! If he desires to have a tree in his torture chamber then so be it!"

"Kay, why are you climbing it?"

"In the book the Persian and the Fop enter Erik's house through the torture chamber meaning there's got to be a trap door somewhere around here. This would be a hell of a lot easier without this damn corset. " Charlie began groping the wall until she found what she was looking for. "Eureka!" The girls climbed out and began to wander around looking for pants. "Guys I have just come up with an amazing plan!"

"Okay Charlie shoot."

"I have decided that it is my duty as co-creator of RAFT to destroy all corsets in this world. Thus saving women from premature death, and passing out on the streets where there is an increased likely hood of being raped. And then Erik can't make us wear them. Oh, we can get pants later. Plus I still don't have any shoes. "

"Ah, I see what shall we name this amazing plan of yours?"

"Plan Gerry!"

"Plan Gerry?"

"Yes Plan Gerry."

"Okay. Can we add getting rum too?"

"Sure why not? Let's go!"

Two hours later…

"Well I just said I knew how to get out of the torture chamber I never said I knew how to get to the stage. You just assumed I did. Shows you not to have faith in me, you'll always be disappointed, except when it comes to my RAFT duties."

The girls had finally reached the main floor of the opera house, and begun to enact Plan Gerry. They decided to split up and meet back in that spot in one hour. They each took a different corridor to go down. Robin, following her corridor, came out onto a giant marble stairway. She had found the front entrance to the opera house. Hearing voices, she jumped behind a statue of a winged angel and listened.

"…..and then the doctor said that marbles actually are not supposed to go up your nose." Robin's eyes widened as she spied on the unusual stranger. It was none other than Raoul! Who knew he was such an idiot? Oh wait, it was obvious.

"Really monsieur Chagny, um, so why are you here? The performance is not until tonight, is there any business you wish to discuss?"

"Well actually Monsieur Firmin, I was wondering if I could hold my annual pie eating contest here for people who have suffered injuries from marbles."

"Um, well I'll have to discuss this with Andre… but you see we need new costumes for the up coming opera, perhaps if you are willing to scratch our backs we will be willing to scratch yours."

"Okay." The fop immediately begins to scratch Firmin's back. Robin sighed and then remembered that one of her greatest goals in life was to seduce a Frenchman. This Raoul seemed very easy to seduce. She immediately began formulating a plan, and lowering the neck line of her dress.

Charlie meanwhile, was on a mission: destroy all corsets. She would not fail, womankind depended on her. She would be famous! Wait she already was! Sometimes she forgot her amazingness that comes with co-creating RAFT. She set off to the dressing rooms. Walking down the hallway, a small gold plaque on one of the doors caught her eye. It read _Christine's dressing room_. Charlie stared. Then slowly, a smirk spread across her face, and she opened the door, walked in and closed it with a snap behind her.

Alex stared open mouthed at the scene in front of her. Dancers and extras raced around while stage hands moved set props. The opening night for the season of Hannibal was starting tonight, and the entire opera house was a buzz. Suddenly, a whole troupe of dancers rushed past her, in what seemed to be harem-themed costumes. The last woman bumped into her, knocking her into a nearby stagehand.

"My dear! What are you doing? You are not in costume! Come, we must get you ready immediately!" Throughout all of this Alex was able to gather two things. One: she didn't understand a word of French. Two: this was Madame Giry, the ballet master. She simply stared back at the woman, she couldn't reply in English or Spanish, or then she would be suspicious. Madame Giry, thinking that she was simply stunned from all the activity, led her away into one of the dressing rooms. Alex just let her drag her along, she didn't quite know what to do.

She soon found herself in a costume similar to the dancers she saw earlier. Madame Giry looked at her feet, then shuffled around in a shelf behind her, pulling out a pair of pale pink point shoes. Alex's eyes widened, realizing what exactly was happening, then panicked. But Madame Giry would have none of that. She just spoke rapidly in French in what she sure Madame Giry must consider a motherly tone of voice. She then pushed her out the door to the other dancers. Alex thought fast, she had taken eight years of ballet, but she didn't know any of the choreography in Hannibal. What to do? She was jostled into another stagehand, and, swearing, shook her fist at him. She may not know the choreography, but she could fake it well enough until rehearsal was over, then sneak back below the stage to meet up with the others later. Who knows? Maybe this would be fun.

Following the dancers to the stage, she lined up with the others, and began following the girl in front of her, trying to match her every move. What she didn't know was that in the audience watching was an English man hired to try and pay French dancers to come and dance in England in _Her Majesty's Theatre. _Everybody knew French dancers were the best, and the English planned on stealing them right from their home ground.

He watched Alex very closely, for she seemed to be moving slightly differently from the rest of the dancers. Her movements were sharper, and her arm movements seemed slightly off, but all in all, her dancing looked very relaxed compared to the rest of the uptight French ballerinas. Perhaps he would confront her after the rehearsal.

Meanwhile, Charlie had a lively bonfire roaring in the middle of Christine's dressing room.

"Ha ha ha, burn my pretties burn!" Charlie produced a bag of marshmallows out of nowhere, and started roasting them happily over the fire. Just then, the mirror in the corner swung open, to reveal what looked like a very perturbed Erik.

"What do you think you are doing? I went to check on you, only to find you gone! Is this how you repay my hospitality? Is that a fire behind you?"

"Fire, what fi….oh no a fire, quick, get a bucket of water!" Charlie, thinking fast, threw the bag of marshmallows over her shoulder. "What are you waiting for, the whole place will burn down!" Erik simply scoffed and with a wave of his hand, the flames disappeared. Charlie stared at him in awe, and he growled in anger.

"You fool, come, we must not be seen here." With that he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her back through the mirror, Charlie protesting loudly the entire time. Taking multiple turns down a maze of passages, they emerged from behind a statue near the main hall.

"Stay here, if you move one inch, I will throw you into my lake with an anchor tied to your foot." He glared menacingly at Charlie, who gulped and stayed completely still. He then swept away, looking like nothing but a shadow. Hiding behind another statue, he peered around it to see a most peculiar sight. He blinked and looked again. Robin was talking animatedly with Raoul.

His blood boiled as he looked upon the man that stole Christine from him. His hand automatically started inching towards his Punjab lasso, and then he stopped and remembered that Christine would be mad at him. That's why he hadn't killed him in the first place. Perhaps he could get one of the girls to do it. Charlie seemed to be the most likely candidate. He paused from his diabolical thoughts to see Robin leaning over the Fop, batting her eyes. What is it with women and stupid men?

"So marbles you say? That sounds sooo interesting."

"Yes I particularly enjoy the blue ones, however they do not taste as good as they look. The pink ones do though, they taste just like raspberries."

"Oh you're so funny! He he he he." Robin smirked secretly. This was so easy, and he seemed rich. She could get jewelry out of this! Maybe even a new wardrobe! Stupid rich Frenchmen are the greatest thing ever.

Erik tried thinking of a way to get Robin's attention. He was stumped until he remembered he was the opera ghost and a master ventriloquist. He started to speak to her and then he remembered he didn't know what to threaten her with. Angrily he stomped away to find Charlie.

Charlie stood there, and did nothing. If she did nothing then Erik would see her devotion to him and realize that he loved her and they would live happily ever after, or he would trust her enough so that she could steal his clothes. So she sat there with a very happy look on her face until Erik came trudging back.

"Where's Robin?"

"Talking to the fop."

"Was her shirt lowered?"

"Yes."

"She's chosen him as the Frenchman she is going to seduce. Don't ask we all have weird goals. Just threaten her by taking away Rent."

"Wouldn't that be a good thing? Then she could save money?"

"No, it's not the same thing, just trust me it works every time." Erik then started to leave before Charlie called out to him. "Hey, Erik can I move yet?"

"No" he said simply before going to retrieve his other houseguest.

"You see when I was little I was playing on the grass when this big brute came out of no where and stole my doll, Betty. I was completely distraught that someone would steal Betty, she was my best friend! So I ran back to the house and began crying to my brother who promptly told me to shut up, and gave me my first marble. That day I discovered my love of marbles, and my hatred of poor people."

"That's such a touching story."

Erik had to keep from killing the fop as he called out to Robin, and commanded she come behind the column immediately or else he would kill Rent. Robin immediately panicked, and ran behind the column, leaving a very confused fop.

Erik and Robin made their way to Charlie. "Okay mademoiselle you may move again, come we must find that third friend of yours."

"We pay twice that which you are making now. Transport is free if you decide to come now." Alex stared at the man in confusion. The Englishman who had been watching her in the audience approached her after the rehearsal was finished, just as she was about to slip backstage. He immediately began speaking in rapid French to her, and she, not knowing a word of French, decided to nod at everything he said, trying to look intelligent.

"Wonderful! Now if you will just come with me…." he took her hand and tried to lead her away. Suddenly though, Alex got an idea. What if he just wanted to sleep with her? That bastard! She pulled her hand back angrily. "What, no you must come with me, my job depends on it…."

"Hey you speak English!" Alex smiled at him thankfully. "I thought everyone here spoke French."

"What, uh, yes I do. So will you come with me now?"

"I don't know, you seem like a rather suspicious character trying to swindle me." she looked at him in suspicion.

"I have rum."

"Oh, okay let's go." With that she followed the suspicious Englishman out of the opera house, thinking nothing of her friends or Erik, only the promise of the long-awaited rum.


	5. Charlie Remembered

Phantom here filling in for Zorro seeing as she is currently incapacitated. Robin's RAFT identity will be revealed in this chapter, and if you haven't already figured out RAFT's true purpose that too will be revealed. RAFT Tip of the day: Always keep someone you dislike with you at all times, that way when attacked by a rapist you can sacrifice her, and save yourself.

In this chapter, we guessed on how long it would take to get across the English Channel, and how long it would take to get to London. We also guessed at the newspapers, and yes, we know Jack the Ripper was a few years off in this, but we don't care. So there.

Chapter Five

Charlie Remembered

Two weeks from when we left off…

"Oh Shit! Robin we never got Alex!" Charlie was panicking, running around Erik's house. She had just now realized they had never retrieved her. "And I still don't have any shoes or pants!"

"Did you just now realize?" Robin questioned.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I had a bet going with Erik as to how long it would take you to notice she was gone."

"Well we have to go get her!"

"Why, there's more wine now?"

"Well I won't betray her, I'm going to go look for her!"

"Okay have fun."

Six hours later…

"Do you think she's going to succeed?"

"Maybe, I don't really care, its been very quiet."

"Okay."

"Guys! I'm back and guess what, I am victorious!"

"You found Alex!"

"No, better I have pants! And shoes!"

"Weren't you going to find Alex?"

"I forgot."

Another three days later…

BEEP BEEP BEEP! Erik wandered around his house trying to locate the source of that infernal noise. He found a small compact lying on his couch. He hesitantly opened it only to be terrified by the sight of Alex's face in the mirror.

"Oh thank god, you finally answered! Erik, I need to speak to Phantom!"

"I am the Phantom."

"No, no I need Phantom."

"I am right here!"

"No, go get Phantom!"

"I am the Phantom!"

"Get Charlie!"

"Why didn't you say so!"

"I did!"

Erik growled and threw the device at Charlie who had just entered the room. She caught it without the slightest bit of trouble.

"Phantom here. What's up?"

"Help I don't know where I am! I'm in this weird place where everyone speaks English only they have accents and I'm confused. They've got me dancing every night and that bastard never gave me my rum!"

"Um I think you're in England, and what are you talking about? How dare you have rum without me! You bitch! And this isn't even a RAFT emergency."

"Come get me!"

"You know very well that this line is only for emergencies. I'm going to have to hang up on you unless you come up with a real emergency!"

"Unless you come get me I will burn your Phantom shrine when we get home!"

"You bitch! You wouldn't dare!"

"Come get me!"

"Fine, fine you big cry baby. I'll come save you."

"Yay, okay, Zorro out." Charlie shut the lid of the compact and turned around and faced Erik with a determined look on her face.

"As my duty of co-creator of RAFT and my dedication to my amazing Phantom shrine, I shall rescue Alex. Away!" With that, Charlie swept dramatically from the room. Erik stood there for a few moments, then started to count down in his head. Just as he got to one, she burst dramatically back into the room. "I don't know how to get to England from here, so you must come with me, and we shall go on an amazing adventure rescuing Alex from evil Englishmen!"

"Why should I? You have caused nothing but trouble. Why would I possibly want that girl back here with us? She is better off dancing in England." Charlie gasped and looked taken aback.

"I can not possibly leave her. She is my co-creator, RAFT can not be managed by one person alone! It is much too amazing."

"I refuse to go with you."

"If you don't, I shall steal all your morphine and throw it into the ocean, and then…..I shall start singing!" Erik paled considerably, on both accounts. Not only could he not survive without morphine, but, well, he'd heard her singing the other day, and burst into the room, worried that one of them was dying. He then thought about that and decided that that wouldn't be so bad after all, but it certainly wasn't something he wanted to experience again.

"Alright, I suppose I shall accompany you to England. Shall we retrieve your other friend Robin?"

"Yes! Get Robin, she, to is a member of RAFT."

"May I inquire as to what RAFT is? I have heard you speak of it quite often."

"RAFT is the most amazing organization ever. Alex, and I created it for the sole purpose of stopping rape. We all have code names of amazing masked individuals. Alex is Zorro, I am Phantom AKA you, and Robin is Raphael. We have other members back home, including: The Lone Ranger, Superman, Spider-man, and Tonto. It is all very amazing and impressive. I can already tell you are impressed."

"How on Earth could you and Alex run anything? I've seen you two have emotional breakdowns because you've run out of alcohol."

"You're just jealous. Now how do we get to England?"

"Why do you need to get to England?"

"Oh, Robin just in time, RAFT is needed in England; Zorro's in trouble!"

"Why is she in England?"

"Something about dancing and rum, but she threatened my phantom shrine, so we must mobilize. Erik, go get three plane tickets for England. Go! what are you waiting for? My co-creator is in peril."

"Plane?" Erik questioned.

"Charlie, airplanes were not invented until 1903."

"Oh well, we don't have the RAFT-mobile, so what do we do?"

"I shall go and purchase ferry tickets to England."

"You're just going to walk up to the ticket booth and get tickets?"

"Does that thought disturb you Robin? No I have contacts that will purchase the tickets for us."

"The Persian?" Charlie always wanted to meet the Persian, if he can go so many years without Erik killing him, then he must truly be impressive.

"You are not going to meet the daroga."

"Why not?" Erik didn't reply as he left to contact Nadir.

Two days later…

Erik was leaning over the railing of a slow moving ship, looking green.

"Erik, you haven't moved from that spot since we got on the boat. You should have said you get seasick." Robin commented.

"I do not get sick, Ghosts do not suffer from nausea. I simply enjoy the view."

"Its fogging, you can't see three feet in front of you."

"Hey! Guys the harbor's coming up! Do you think Alex is alive?" Charlie walked up to the spot where Robin, and Erik stood.

"She had better be. She still owes be ten bucks."

Thirty minutes later…

The group set off looking for _Her Majesty's Theater, _and Alex. Walking a few yards they saw a sign that stated that they were in the town of Dover. Wait, Dover? Then where the heck is London? They stared in confusion at the sign, before Robin broke the silence.

"Okay, so we're in Dover, if I remember correctly, London is approximately 75 miles away, so we have two choices. Either we can steal away on a wagon, or steal a carriage and a team of horses without anyone noticing."

"Oh, let's steal a carriage and horses, nobody will notice if we do it now, it's too foggy." Charlie looked around eagerly, looking for said carriage. Erik looked round at Robin.

"If you do not mind my asking mademoiselle, how did you know how far London is from here?"

"I studied geography last year, and had to do a report on Dover because it is the connecting town to the English Tunnel." Erik looked at her, secretly confused, but nodded intelligently and kept walking.

They walked along a winding road until they came into what seemed to be a residential district. The fog was so thick by now, they could barely see three feet in front of them. Suddenly, a clip-clopping sound could be heard coming toward them on the cobblestone street. Erik pulled the two of them to the side of the street, hiding under the overhang of a building.

"Stay here, I will acquire our carriage." With that he was gone, stealing away into the fog. Robin and Charlie looked and at each other and shrugged, listening. There was a thudding sound, and a few gasping breaths, then Erik came back, signaling silently to follow him. They walked through the fog until they came to a large black carriage. Looking to the side, Charlie noticed what seemed to be the coachman on the ground, dead by strangulation. She stared for a moment, then shrugged and climbed into the carriage with Robin. Erik sat in the coachmen's seat, and they took off down the street. Robin frowned at Charlie.

"Did he just kill that guy? That's kind of scary. If he just killed him, then he probably wouldn't have any qualms about killing us if we annoy him too much."

"Erik won't kill us! I would start singing and steal his morphine. He knows this. Besides I think he's subconsciously falling in love with me. You can tell by the look in his eyes." Charlie stared out the window of the carriage dreamily. Robin looked at her in uncertainty.

"Right, anyway, how long exactly do you think this will take anyway? And what direction are we headed in?" Erik's voice sounded from outside the carriage.

"Traveling 75 miles will take approximately three days if we do not want to be seen. And London is northeast of here." Charlie groaned and sat back.

"Three whole days stuck in this carriage? Well Robin, did you bring any cards with you?"

"Miss Alejandra, please, you must be onstage in three minutes!"

"Shut up, this is an emergency!" Alex stared in horror at the front page of the London Times. On the front page was a picture of Jack the Ripper, and detailed accounts of the murders he had committed so far. She clenched the paper in her fist and posed. "It is my duty as Zorro to stop this evil-doer! Away!" Suddenly she was in her Zorro costume, mask and all. She swept dramatically out the door. Five minutes later she swept back into the room, and grabbed a quill and a piece of parchment. She scribbled something on it and tacked it to her dressing room door. She then swept out of the room again, this time for good.

"Are we there yet?" Erik growled in annoyance. Charlie had been asking him that question every five minutes for the past hour. If she didn't stop soon he would be forced to do something drastic. They had been traveling for almost three days now, and were closing in on London, you could see the lights of the large city on the road they were on now.

"Are we…..ouch!" Erik had finally snapped and threw his Punjab lasso behind him, snagging her by the neck. Just as he was about to pull it tight, he blinked and turned around.

"We have arrived." He loosened the Punjab lasso and coiled it. Charlie and Robin looked out the windows at the large sprawling city before them. "Would either of the two of you happen to know the way to Her Majesty's Theatre?" Charlie looked expectantly at Robin.

"I have no idea, we'll just have to drive around until we find it. Nobody will expect anything as long as we wait until it's dark."

"Wait, Erik use your mad opera finding skills."

"I do not possess mad opera finding skills."

"Yes you do. You're the Phantom of the Opera."

"I do not have any talent that will allow me to locate an opera house. I don't even know where it is. Oh wait, never mind I found it."

"I told you, you have mad opera finding skills."

Erik parked the carriage, and the three walked up to the theater, and started looking for Alex. They wandered around the theater trying to locate Alex. Charlie suggested that Erik use his mad dressing room finding skills to find Alex. Erik was about to retort when he noticed he had found a room marked _Alejandra's Room_. Attached was a note for Charlie.

_Dear Phantom,_

_RAFT emergency CODE DELTA. I have discovered the whereabouts of Jack the Ripper. Have gone to save the day. Call the communicator when you get this. Will be more difficult without the aid of the Elite Five. _

_Zorro _

_P.S. What took you so long to find me?_


	6. Operation: Take down

Yay! Reviews! Happy dance time! Thank you to all reviewers, cookies to all! Lendielstar, you asked the winning question. What does RAFT stand for? What indeed. It is the Anti-Rape Task Force. We realized that ARTF did not spell anything, so we mixed up the letters to spell RAFT! It makes sense, no?

RAFT tip of the day: If a car starts slowly following you down a dark street, panic and immediately run into the nearest non-porn selling store, then call for RAFT. We will come. We will give someone a cookie if they notice the very grave error we made in this chapter. Happy reading.

Chapter 6

Operation: Take down

Alex stalked the London streets hiding in the shadows. How was she going to locate Jack the Ripper? Its not as though there was a big neon sign over his hideout. Of course not, neon lights weren't invented back then.

She was turning a corner, and was suddenly struck with an idea when she saw a women under a street light. According to the History Channel, Jack the Ripper attacked whores and low class women. So if Alex followed the whore, she would find Jack the Ripper.

Alex started following the whore, who was talking to a man. They began walking toward an alley, and Alex followed. When she turned the corner, Alex realized that was a bad idea, as soon as she saw what the man and whore was doing. Chalk one up for having no common sense.

Alex started walking down the street trying to think like a homicidal rapist killer. Suddenly a man in a black cloak stepped in front of her.

Erik just watched as the two girls he had been unfortunate enough to meet began running around in circles, ranting about an insufficient number of RAFT members and weapons.

"Alright!" Charlie said suddenly, her RAFT leadership abilities kicking in, "We'll find Alex by using the tracking device of the RAFT communicators."

"Wait, RAFT tracking device? You mean we could have used the tracking device from the start and not go through all this hell looking for Alex?"

"The RAFT communicators are for RAFT business only. Finding Alex was not immediate RAFT business, as such I did not use them, and I kind of forgot they had that ability."

"You idiot!"

"Your insults do not affect me. Now be quiet, I have to go save the day." Charlie immediately pulled a changing curtain out of no where. She grabbed Robin and they went behind it, appearing several minutes later in different outfits.

Robin was dressed in a green jump suit with a red mask covering her eyes, and a turtle shell on her back. Charlie was dressed just like Erik.

"See Erik we're twins! I look just like you. Isn't it great! Aren't you amazed? Do you love me now?"

"Where did you acquire that clothing, and why does Robin have a shell on her back?"

"Do not call her that! We are in our RAFT disguises now, so you must call us Phantom and Raphael. As for the clothes, I got them off e-bay, and Robin has a shell on her back because she is Raphael, the teenage mutant ninja turtle. I told you before we left. Jeez all that morphine is affecting your brain."

"I thought you meant the artist."

"Robin is not a painter, besides, Raphael the painter did not stop rape!"

"Okay, we get the point, but let's get off the street now, people are giving us weird looks." With that, Robin and Erik grabbed Charlie and drug her into an alleyway. Charlie proceeded to pull out her communicator and, punching a few buttons, a small red dot began blinking on the screen.

"Okay, that's where Zorro is, and this is where we are. We need to get from the blue dot, to the red dot." Robin and Erik leaned over to look at the communicator. Charlie randomly pushed another button, trying to zoom in, but instead a complete, detailed map of London came onto the screen, showing exactly where the red and blue dots were.

All three of them stared in awe at the screen, then Robin turned to Charlie, confused. "When could they ever do that? That would have come in handy big time that time we were in Canada."

"Do not question the communicators! Okay, so we need to go….this way!" Erik stared at her, then back at the communicator.

"Actually, we need to go in the opposite direction, you were holding it upside down." Charlie glared at him, then she realized she was glaring at him and started to feel horrible, and begged for Erik's forgiveness.

"Erik my love, I'm so sorry I didn't mean to glare. I realize now that you are just trying to help and protect me, because you love me."

"Mademoiselle I do not love you. I simply do not wish to remain here any longer then necessary."

"It's okay Erik, I understand you have to pretend you don't love me in order to keep up face and maintain your persona of a fearsome opera ghost." Robin saw the look on Erik's face and quickly distracted both of them, before Erik could kill Charlie.

"We should go and find Zorro now, she may need our help."

Alex AKA Zorro was currently engaged in a battle with Jack the Ripper. She had managed to slice off his arm with her rapier, but he had cut her medallion off, and was currently taunting her with it. "This is truly a beautiful peace of jewelry. I wonder how much the pawn shops will pay for it."

"You bastard! You will pay for this heinous act with your life. You creepy rapist!" Zorro flicked her whip toward him with a crack. Instead of missing him like he expected, it rapidly entwined itself around his arm. She began pulling him towards her, so that she could retrieve her medallion. Jack the Ripper, thinking quickly, pulled out his knife and was about to strike the oddly dressed girl, when suddenly out of nowhere a sais appeared and knocked his knife out of his hand. He looked up and saw two more masked vigilantes. What was it with all the masked people nowadays? It just wasn't special any more.

Phantom and Raphael jumped down from the roof where they were standing, and landed next to Zorro. Posing dramatically, they glared at the evil rapist in front of them. "You guys arrived right on time, together we must now destroy this evil rapist! Go into Attack Pattern Alpha!"

Quickly they dispersed, surrounding Jack the Ripper on three sides. Meanwhile, Erik watched all this slack-jawed. Okay, so they weren't complete idiots after all. He had to give them some credit, he just hoped he wouldn't have to save them if they screwed up. Or this Jack the Ripper could actually kill them and he could go back to his opera house in peace. Yeah, that sounded good. Erik leaned against the side of a building then, and watched them idly.

"Ah, so the cavalry has arrived." Jack the Ripper smirked at them, obviously not intimidated by three girls in masks.

"You idiot, none of us are riding horses. Mine's at the opera house."

"Mine's drunk."

"Turtle's don't ride horses dumbass." With that, Phantom, Charlie not Erik, threw her Punjab lasso at him, snagging him around the neck. He choked and pulled at it, trying to loosen it. Zorro once again ensnared his right arm with her whip. Jack the Ripper then pulled another knife from his sleeve, and started trying to cut free the Punjab lasso. Phantom saw this, and yelled to Raphael.

"Quick, cut off his sleeve, he has hidden extra knives there!" Raphael rolled her eyes.

"Well I could see that." she quickly sliced off his right sleeve. Out fell about fifty knives of various sizes. They all stared in wonder, even Erik.

"You know, that's actually kind of impressive." Zorro stared at all the knives now lying on the ground enviously.

"Shut up! Quickly, kill him now!" But before Raphael and Zorro could do anything, Jack the Ripper grabbed one of the fallen knives on the top of the pile, and once again tried to cut off the Punjab. But just as he was going to slice it off, he sneezed. His arm and head spasmed when he sneezed, and instead of cutting the rope, he accidentally cut his own neck. Blood flowed from his jugular, and the three RAFT members and Erik just watched as he spasmed and fell to the ground, as Phantom had dropped the Punjab in shock.

"Wow. And here I thought one of us would have to stab him or something. This sure is convenient." Raphael walked over and started sorting through the knives that had fallen out of his sleeve. Phantom loosened the Punjab lasso and removed it from his neck, grimacing at the blood stains. They stared at his now dead body apprehensively.

"Guys, didn't the murders he committed go unsolved? Meaning that the authorities never found him?" Zorro and Phantom looked at each other.

"You're right! We'll have to get rid of the body!" Phantom glanced back at the blood-soaked corpse again, this time with disgust. Just to make sure he was dead she began poking him in the head with a sick. "You guys wouldn't happen to have a body bag would you?"

"If you want to remove the corpse, that can be arranged."

"Why am I not surprised that Erik would have a solution to our problem of hiding a corpse?"

"That's just because Erik is amazing. Of course he has solutions to all of our problems. What's your solution Erik?"

"We must go to the docks."

A little while later….

"I hate carrying dead bodies. They're heavy!"

"Charlie shut up! Someone's going to hear us."

"Why am I the one carrying the body anyway?"

"You lost at rock-paper-scissors, that's why."

"Oh."

"It doesn't matter anymore mademoiselle, we have reached our destination. Robin, would you and Alex please retrieve an anchor?"

"Sure."

Charlie, thinking Erik sent Alex and Robin away so that he could confess his love to her, began walking closer to him, dropping Jack the Ripper's body on the ground. Erik, just realizing that he left Charlie alone with him, quickly thought of something.

"Mademoiselle, please check the harbor area and clear it of any lingering persons. We do not want anyone to see us."

"Sure Erik, anything you say." Charlie walked around the dock, and, seeing nobody, was about to walk back over to Erik, when she heard someone behind her.

"Young miss, mightn't ye be kind enough to lend a poor seaman a few coins?" Charlie whipped around, immediately suspicious. An old man stood in the corner, hunched over his cane. One of his eyes had a patch over it, he had two peg-legs, and he was missing one arm, and where his hand would have been on his other, was a fork. Charlie became inquisitive of this odd fellow.

"Hey mister, why don't you have a hook on your arm like other seamen?"

"Aye, one time I did have a hook. That be why I be missin' me eye."

"Oh, okay. You have to leave now."

"An' why be that missy?"

Charlie, thinking quickly, came up with the best lie she could. "Uh, a hurricane's coming. Run! Run now and save your life! Why aren't you running? You're going to die! Don't worry about me, I'll try to stop the hurricane the best I can. Go save yourself!"

"Lass, you been out in the sun a little too long."

"Nonsense, go!" With that, Charlie tried to nudge him into moving down that alley, but the seaman stayed fixed to the spot. For the seaman had decided that Charlie was insane, and everyone knew that insane people were easy to con.

"Aye miss, but before I be going, mightn't I suggest something? Hurricanes be bad business for coast areas, for they be tending to wash ashore nasty things." Charlie stared at the seaman, entranced, for all seamen are naturally good storytellers.

"Then what happens?" Charlie stared at the man eagerly. He stared back.

"Ye ain't the brightest lass, is ye?" Charlie nodded her head. She was too enthralled by the old man to notice what he was saying. The old man then decided that he could make some money out of this. "Well, I'll tell ye what happens next lass. A 'orrible sea creature comes an' devours all the one-story buildings."

"That bastard! Why one story buildings?"

"He can reach 'em."

"Oh. How can I save myself?"

"Lucky ye asked lass. Ye see, I jus' 'appen to 'ave a harpoon gun that'll save ye life from dis sea creature."

"Ooooh, is it magical?"

"Why yes, yes it is."

"I'll take it."

Meanwhile Alex and Robin were looking for an anchor. Having decided that the best place to locate an anchor was on a ship, they crept as quietly as they could on to the nearest one. Alex was just about to steal the anchor when a group of angry seaman appeared, wondering what they were doing on their ship.

"Oy, what ye be doing on our ship?" One of the uglier seamen leered at them threateningly.

Alex, thinking only of Robin's safety, immediately threw her overboard, believing Robin's amazing turtle skills would save her. It was only after Alex heard Robin hit the water did she remember that only sea turtles can swim. Raphael was not a sea turtle. Luckily Robin took swimming lessons when she was a child.

Alex looked up to see that the seamen had formed a circle around her, holding various pointy weapons. She quickly…..

Erik, during the time the girls were gone, had bought tickets for a return trip to Paris. He was ready to return to his beloved Opera house. He might even be happy to see Carlotta. Wait, never mind he could never be that unhappy as to want to see Carlotta. Erik then spotted a wet Robin walking up to him.

"Mademoiselle, why are you wet?"

"Alex threw me off a ship."

"Why?" Robin was about to explain when Charlie came strolling up carrying a harpoon gun.

"Charlie, why do you have a harpoon gun?" Robin was afraid to know the answer.

"Well this old man, who I found out is named Salty Sam, said I needed it to defeat an angry sea monster."

"Why would anyone give you a harpoon gun? I would feel safer if it was in the hands of a child." That's what Erik said. This is what Charlie hears. "Charlie you are the most amazing person ever. From the moment I saw you I knew I loved you. When we return to France we shall run off together and get married. There is no need for your friends. We can leave them here." Charlie stared off into space with a dreamy look on her face, completely unaware of her surroundings.

"Guys, hey!" Alex ran up to them, out of breath and with an anchor strapped to her back. "Guys, we have to hurry and leave now!"

"Why?" While Erik took the anchor off her back, Alex stood up straight, and turned to look at Robin.

"Uh, someone could find us. Yeah. Come on Erik, move it!" Alex tapped her foot impatiently as Erik tied the anchor to the corpse's foot, and heaved it into the water. He wondered how the heck Alex carried this on her back, but decided not to ask.

"She be this way, onward!" Running toward them was what looked to be about twenty seamen, each with some form of weapon. Some carried torches, a few had pitchforks, and some had rum bottles.

"RUN!" Alex, Robin, and Erik all took off running, leaving behind Charlie, who was still in a daze.

"Charlie! RAFT emergency!" Charlie quickly snapped out of her daze, and started running to catch up to the others.

"Okay guys, what's the emergency?"

"Look behind you." Charlie glanced behind only to see the mob gaining ground. "That's the emergency!"

"You're right! We can't let Erik get raped be seamen! Onward, pick up speed!" Erik looked over at her, obviously horrified.

"Excuse me, I would be the one getting raped? You are the woman."

"Its okay Erik, I'll save you."

Erik, deciding that saving himself is more important then killing Charlie at the moment, leapt deftly over a barrel, and got an idea. "Alex, Robin, quickly, I need your assistance." Alex and Robin swerved, coming to a stop next to Erik, who was standing behind about ten barrels. "Quickly, on the count of three, send them rolling toward the seamen." On the count of three, Alex, Robin, and Erik pushed the barrels at the seamen. They toppled over like bowling pins, and scattered, some jumping into the harbor to avoid being hit.

"Hey, why couldn't I help?" Charlie asked. They had taken off running again, though few seamen chased after them now, seeing as most of their number had been taken out by the barrels.

"I do not find you competent."

"I see, you wanted to make sure I was unharmed. How caring of you Erik."

Erik didn't bother to contradict her. She was clearly delusional. Erik then noticed that in the distance, the ship that he had purchased tickets for was beginning to cast off. "We must hurry. Our ship is leaving."

Erik and the girls made it to the dock just as the ship was leaving, and had to jump aboard in order to get on.

"Yay! We made it!" Charlie began firing shots of her harpoon gun into the air in celebration. Killing two crew hands in the process.

"Give that to me! Who knows how many others you may kill with it." Erik then proceeded to throw Charlie's harpoon gun off the ship.

"BENNY! NOOOOOOOO! Don't worry, I'll save you!" Charlie made an attempt to leap off the boat and save Benny, her harpoon gun. Robin grabbed her before she made it to the railing.

"Charlie, it's okay, it was just a harpoon gun." Alex tried to comfort Charlie who was balling her eyes out.

"He wasn't just a harpoon gun. He was my best friend ever."

"Would you like some rum? Would that make you feel better?"

"Uh huh."

"Okay lets go get you some rum."

"NO! No alcohol! For gods sake don't get her drunk!" None of the girls listened as they went off in search of the galley.

Three days later…

"Hey guys, how did we end up back at the opera house? I don't remember." Erik entered through the door of the torture chamber, looking thoroughly exhausted.

"Well it wasn't easy."


	7. Robin vs Christine

Thank you reviewers! Rum for all! The big mistake was that there is no harbor in London. But sadly, neither of us noticed until we had the entire chapter written out. Anyway…..lots of Christine bashing in this chapter. I mean, like tons.

RAFT tip of the day: If you are riding in a taxi, and the taxi driver's picture does not match his face, chances are you are about to be kidnapped. Exit the taxi immediately. If you are unable to exit the taxi, steal his hat. For taxi drivers are powerless without their hats.

Chapter 7

Robin vs. Christine

Alex, Charlie, and Robin were wandering around Erik's house looking for his kitchen. So far they had had no luck. They had found a library, the wine cellar, gun powder chamber, which Alex, and Charlie immediately ran into, and had to be dragged out by Robin who told them never to go in there again, and an artificial garden, where Alex instantaneously started screaming her lungs out, and had to be blind folded and carried out. But still they could not locate a kitchen.

The girls were beginning to become distraught with hunger. Charlie's emergency supply pack had run out of food the previous night, so they had to search Erik's house for food. Having found none they went to go find Erik and demand he feed them.

"Erik, we're hungry feed us."

"Why would I waste my time doing such a thing?"

"Well, where do you keep your food?"

"I have none, I do not believe in eating." The girls stared at Erik in shock and horror.

"You must be joking. How can you not believe in eating? It's because you've never had ice cream before isn't it?" Alex prodded him in the chest, and he immediately twisted her wrist. "Ow."

"If you are so hungry, why not go buy your own food?" The three girls looked at each other, then ran for the door. Erik sighed in relief. Hopefully they would get lost and not be able to find their way back. Hopefully.

The girls, meanwhile, were following the passageways out of the cellars of the Opera house. Charlie was leading them singing _Whistle while you work, _much to Alex's and Robin's displeasure. "Okay and then we turn this way, and…"

"Charlie do you actually know where you're going? Last time we were lost for two hours before we found the stage."

"You doubt me? I know everything there is to know about Erik and the opera house! How could you possibly think that I am anything less than wonderful….here we are!" They came out into the open air, and saw a sign that said _Rue Scribe._

"Wow Charlie, that was amazing. I'm sorry I doubted you."

"Actually, I was trying to get to Box Five. But this works too." With that, they took off down the street, looking for food stands. After a few minutes of walking, they noticed that people were parting to the sides of the road to let them through. Groups of men and women stood whispering and pointing. Robin glanced around, and noticed that they seemed to have focused their attention on Charlie. Leaning over, she whispered to her.

"Charlie, everyone's staring at you because you are wearing pants. These people don't consider pants appropriate for women." Charlie looked at her and Alex.

"So, you guys are just jealous that you don't have pants too. If you would have stuck with me when we were carrying out Plan Gerry, then you also would have pants." Robin slapped a hand to her forehead in frustration.

"Charlie, we don't want to be noticed, meaning we have to blend in with the natives. So just put on a dress and corset." Charlie looked scandalized.

"I couldn't! I burned them all!"

"Just the ones in the opera house, there must be somewhere around here where you can get some." Charlie sighed in agitation.

"Fine, I'll be right back." Five minutes later she walked back up to them, wearing a blue dress, and hopefully a corset. "This will cost you, you know." Robin smirked.

"You owe me three dollars." Charlie glared at her.

"Fine!" With that, she stomped off down the street, Alex and Robin following her as quickly as their dresses allowed. Charlie was muttering about having to burn all the corsets in Paris next.

"Guys I just realized, we don't have any money." Charlie and Alex stopped and looked at Robin. She was right, they didn't have any money. Charlie and Alex looked at each other, then at Robin and just shrugged.

"Oh, oh well we'll just have to steal what we need."

"How are we going to do that, do you suppose?"

"Eh, we'll think of something."

Alex, Charlie, and Robin wandered around Paris, until they came across a street vender. The trio huddled together and came up with a plan. Robin strutted over to the vender, and started flirting with him. While he was occupied, Alex and Charlie started grabbing things as inconspicuously as they could. They then took off down the street, trying to act natural. Robin fluttered her eyelashes at the vender, then turned to follow them. Coming out of his daze, the vender noticed then that half of his merchandise was missing.

"Hey, come back here, stop thieves!" The girls looked at each other, panicked, then took off running down the street.

"Shit! Charlie, you have to lead us back, hurry!"

"Okay, okay, follow me!" They ran as fast as they could, but soon realized that that wouldn't be enough. A whole party of Frenchmen was chasing after them now, and they were gaining ground quickly.

"Why is it everywhere we go we get chased by angry mobs?"

"Shut up and run!"

"Wait!" Charlie said suddenly, "I have an idea!" She turned around and stopped. The angry mob paused in confusion and looked at Charlie. She then pointed dramatically at the sky and said, "Look over there! A flying pink giraffe being ridden by Michael Jackson! Go guard your sons!" As every member of the mob turned around to locate the giraffe, the girls made their escape.

Erik sat at his organ enjoying the peace and quiet. If he was lucky those girls would end up in Switzerland. He started playing is organ again, when Robin ran into the room, and demanded he come with her. He sighed and followed her. Maybe the other two did get lost.

Erik and Robin entered his library only to be greeted by the smell of smoke. He hastily entered and saw Charlie and Alex cooking over a fire in the middle of the room. Well, they were trying to cook.

"Hey, I thought I told you guys to stay away from the fire!" Robin pushed both of the away from the little fire, and continued to fry the eggs in the frying pan Charlie had in her emergency supply pack. Erik's eyes suddenly widened.

"What, may I ask, are you burning?"

"Oh don't worry Erik, just a few more corsets I managed to steal on my way back here." Charlie answered as if it was no big deal.

"What are you doing? Put out that fire immediately! You fool!"

"Erik, don't panic I have a fire extinguisher in my emergency supply pack."

"Why is there a fire in here?"

"Well, we had to cook somewhere, and you don't have a kitchen, and fire in the gun powder room sounded bad to Robin, so this was the next best option. Now sit down and have some eggs."

"I refuse to eat anything you have touched."

"Erik, anorexia is a very harmful disorder. We are having an intervention. Now sit down and eat!"

"I am not anorexic."

"It's okay, lots of people with poor self images are anorexic. I understand, but you are not a teenage girl so you should not feel the pressure of having to be skinny like all the popular kids." Erik glared at her ferociously, hoping to intimidate Charlie, but she just sat there on the ground, smiling encouragingly up at him. She handed him the plate of freshly made eggs with a big smile on her face. "Here you go Erik, eat up!"

"I refuse to eat that." Charlie's lip started trembling then, and with a nod to Alex and Robin, they all started weeping.

"Alright! I will eat."

"Yay!" Erik then took the plate from Charlie and grudgingly ate it. He handed the plate back to Charlie, who looked very happy and proud.

"I'm leaving, put out that fire. From now on eat in the torture chamber."

"Okay come by around noon for lunch."

Later that day….

_Dear Alex and Charlie,_

_I have gone to seduce the fop. Will be back in time for dinner. Do not attempt to cook. _

_P.S. Arsenic is not seasoning! _

_Robin _

"Uh what do we do now?"

"Oh, lets go watch. That'll be fun." Alex and Charlie set off to locate Robin and the Fop. Alex followed Charlie through a maze of passages until they came down the same one that Robin used in Plan Gerry, ending up behind a marble statue of an angel. Crouching down low, they saw Robin and the fop walking toward the manager's office together, chatting animatedly.

"But she always puts me down, never listening to my stories, and never playing marbles with me. I always say please too." Raoul looked at his feet morosely, while Robin shook her head.

"She just doesn't appreciate me or my marbles. I listened to her angel of music stories; and my stories about marbles and Betty are better then her stories."

"I'm sorry, that sounds horrible. I mean, marbles are much more interesting then some dumb old angel." Alex had to hold Charlie back from killing Robin when she heard that comment.

"No! Bad Charlie! Robin didn't mean it."

"Oh, I have something that will make you feel better. Here." Robin handed Raoul a marvelous cats eye marble.

"Ooooh I've never seen a marble like this before. This is amazing. I have something for you too. I was going to give it to Christine, but I want you to have it instead." Robin smiled, expecting a diamond necklace, only to be greeted by a orange marble with many nicks in it.

"Oh, I just don't know what to say." Jewelry, she wanted jewelry, how hard is that?

"This is the very first marble I ever owned. My brother gave it to me. I want you to have it." Even though it was just a marble, Robin suddenly felt touched. She smiled at the fop, who held it out to her eagerly.

"It's, um, great." Raoul smiled happily, and they happily continued their conservation, blissfully unaware of Alex and Charlie, who were watching them with their mouths hanging open. Robin, however, was quite happy. If he was giving her marbles now, then who's to say he won't give her jewelry in the future?

Robin and the Fop began walking again, followed by Charlie and Alex. Then, suddenly, the door to the opera house dramatically flew open, and a flash of lightening struck. When everyone looked back at the door they saw…Christine. Clad in a poofy pink dress and feathered hat, Alex thought she rather resembled a cupcake. She looked behind her quickly, and with horror, realized that Charlie was gone.

Christine walked over to the bottom of the staircase, and looked up. She spotted Raoul with an unfamiliar blonde woman, and narrowed her eyes in anger. Robin narrowed her eyes at the same time, for anyone who hangs out with Charlie for any amount of time will randomly develop a hatred for Christine.

Lightning flashed again and electricity sparked as they held each other's glares. Finally, Christine strolled purposely up the staircase and stopped in front of Robin and Raoul.

"Raoul dear, what are you doing here? I was worried when you were not at home."

"Oh hello Christine, I was planning my pie-eating contest with the managers. Oh, I would like to introduce you to Robin. She's my friend that also likes marbles."

"Well that's wonderful. I'm Christine, Raoul's fiancé."

"Oh congratulations. Raoul and I were just having a wonderful conversation about marbles. In fact he's just given me the first marble he ever owned. Quite special wouldn't you say?"

"Yes, very special. Raoul honey, how come you never gave it to me?"

"You always yelled at me when I started talking about marbles. I thought you wouldn't like it."

"Raoul, honey you don't think." Raoul sniffed miserably, for even he could tell when has been insulted. Robin glared angrily at Christine.

"You bitch! How dare you! He is your fiancé, you could at least be a little nice to him!" Robin was in her element now. Lecturing people and making them feel guilty was her specialty. Just then, Christine took a swipe at her with her extremely long finger nails. Robin ducked out of the way and shook her fist angrily at Christine. Nobody interrupts her lectures! "Take this!" With that, Robin threw one of her sais at Christine, who tried to duck. It instead sliced off her feathered pink hat.

"You will pay for this, you, you tramp!" Robin growled and launched at Christine, trying to strangle her. Just then, she noticed Charlie sneaking up behind Christine, holding what looked to be a razor. Robin smirked and tried to hold Christine still, while she clawed at her arms. Charlie came up behind her, and with a few well aimed swipes, most of Christine's hair fell to the ground.

"HA HA SUCCESS! You whore, that's what you get for hurting Erik. He loved you! But don't feel bad, Erik is slowly realizing his love of me. You are useless now. Here Robin catch." Charlie threw Robin's sais at her. Robin expertly caught them and began twirling them around her fingers.

Erik, after finishing composing an amazing opera, realized he was hungry. Damn those girls for getting his metabolism working again. He left his room in search of them so that they could feed him. Walking into the torture chamber, he discovered…..nothing. Blinking in confusion, he checked the library. Nothing. He hurriedly checked the gunpowder room, Louis Phillipe room, and the artificial garden. Nothing. Erik panicked. They were loose on the opera house! God only knows what they're doing at this very minute!

With that horrifying thought, Erik swept through the passages at an alarming speed. He flew through the entrance of box five, and began looking for the girls. Not there. He arrived at the entrance of the opera house, only to be greeted by a very abnormal sight. The Vicomte was crying in a corner, and Robin was fighting…a bald Christine? Erik stared in shock as Christine leapt at Robin, and grabbed a fistful of her hair, yanking her head back. They fell back against the banister, Robin twisting at the last minute so that Christine hit her head.

Erik leapt forward then, wanting to protect Christine. Suddenly, Alex jump-tackled him from the side, and they rolled to the side of the staircase. Erik snarled at her angrily, and tried to push her off of him, but she had a firm hold on his cape, and yanked him back to the ground.

"What do you think you are doing? Let go of me this instant!" Alex shook her head, and kicked his feet out from under him.

"Sorry, but no can do. Charlie would kill me if I let you go." At the mention of Charlie, Erik turned his head, only to see her sitting a few yards away from them, a bowl of popcorn in her hands.

"Whoo hoo! Right hook, uppercut……oooo that looked like it hurt." Charlie munched on her popcorn happily, cheering on Robin while she beat up Christine. Christine was getting tired now, and seeing how she was never strong in the first place, their cat fight soon turned into a one-sided beating.

"Take that, and that, and that!" Robin laughed maniacally, and kicked Christine in the ribs, sending her rolling down the stairs. Christine lay there, bloody and bruised. She groaned and rolled over, just as Charlie stood up, spilling her popcorn.

"Encore, encore! That was amazing! Robin you're my new hero!" Robin stood next to Charlie, panting, her dress ripped, but victorious.

"Take that bitch! No one interrupts my lectures." Robin stepped over the pool of blood that was coming from Christine, and walked over to Raoul. "Its okay, the mean lady's gone now. Here." Robin handed Raoul another shiny marble. This one was pink and swirly. Raoul stared in awe at the marble, then stood up, and offered to show Robin his marble collections. She agreed and they began to leave the opera house when Alex called out to her.

"Robin what are you doing?"

"I'm leaving, I always wanted to be a professional marble player."

"Robin, NOOO! Alex cried out dramatically, falling to her knees, her arms outstretched. Erik took that opportunity to run to Christine's aid, who was still laying at the bottom of the stairs. Unfortunately for him, Charlie caught him first. Charlie grabbed the back his cape, and he choked, his feet coming out from in front of him. He slammed painfully into the ground. He laid there stunned as Charlie called Alex over, and they began pulling him back to his house.

The people on the stairs stared as Robin left with Raoul, and they stared when Alex and Charlie drug what looked like the Phantom of the Opera out of sight behind a statue. They now turned their attention to the bleeding cupcake-looking thing at the bottom of the stairs. Shouldn't someone get help? Oh well.


	8. Tonto!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed in the last chapter. In this chapter Tonto arrives. Because his RAFT identity is that of Tonto we make fun of him with some jokes about Indians. We apologize if you are Native American and are offended by any comment we make. The basis of our jokes are because Tonto was such a stereotypical figure. We do not want to offend anyone. Take no offense to anything we say, we're only trying to offend Tonto.

RAFT tip of the day: Plastic explosives are not Playdough. Do Not Eat. But do throw at rapists in dark alleys.

Tonto!

Two weeks from when Robin left with the Fop…

"Do you think Robin will remember she has a boyfriend back home?" Charlie fell over from the position she was, which was on her head. She was attempting, for the fifteenth time that day, to do a headstand.

"Don't know. Poor Zach. He would be heartbroken if he knew she ran off with a stupid marble-loving Frenchman." Alex shook her head and helped Charlie to her feet. Erik had been brooding for the past two weeks, because his Christine was hurt. Charlie told him that she was better off comatose because then no one would be forced to look at her disgusting taste in fashion. A pink cupcake. Honestly. Erik then tried to kill Charlie, but Alex jump tackled him again. He hadn't spoken to them since, except to demand food.

"You know, without Robin no one will believe us when we tell them all the things we did here, of course now no one is stopping us from going into the gunpowder room." Realization dawned on Alex's face, and she and Charlie immediately ran from the room, big smiles on their faces. They quickly opened the door only to be greeted by the sight of Robin.

"I told you never to come into this room." Charlie and Alex stared slack jawed at Robin. What the hell?

"Robin what? Why? When? How? Didn't you leave with the Fop?" Charlie looked down dismally. She was rather looking forward to getting her hands on some gunpowder. Oh well. Robin glared at them.

"I only ever got marbles. How hard is it to buy jewelry? Even jewel encrusted marbles."

"Did you even remember you have a boyfriend Zach?"

"Oh, well you know the country rule"

"Ah yes, true enough."

Just then Erik walked out from his room to demand lunch when he spotted Robin. His eyes narrowed and flames began to surround him. Charlie, oblivious to his anger smiled at him and cheerfully began talking. "Erik isn't it great? Robin's back! Aren't you happy? Erik why are you reaching for your Punjab? What are you doi- Erik NO!"

Erik had just attempted to lunge at Robin, but he forgot that she had mad ninja skills, and she leapt nimbly out of the way. He snarled and tried to lunge again, only to be held back by Charlie and Alex.

"Erik you can't! Robin's the only one that we listen to. If you kill her no one will be able to control us!" This did not stop Erik as he continued to try to kill Robin. Alex peered over Erik's struggling form over at Charlie.

"Quick, think of something! We lose a main RAFT member if he gets Robin!" Charlie did the first thing that came to mind. She flashed Erik. What happened next can not possibly be put into words. In fact, I can not even begin to describe it. What I will tell you is that Erik did not move from that spot for three days. The girls started decorating him after one day.

"Okay, a little bit more to the left……perfect." Alex gave Charlie and Robin a thumbs up and walked over to them. The girls had gotten bored of putting pretty hats on Erik and decided to go swimming in the lake. They had stolen some lumber and made a diving board. They then procured swimming suits. Charlie has absolutely everything in her emergency supply pack. So there they were, bikini clad, and diving board ready.

Meanwhile inside, Erik was just now recovering from shock. Coming to, he noticed that his head felt heavier than usual. What the? Why the heck was he wearing a fluffy pink hat and scarf? He growled, annoyed, and thought about going and confronting the very obvious culprits, but then decided that it would just encourage them. Maybe if he ignored them they would go away, and besides, Alex would say something about pink being his color.

He started to his room when he noticed his front door was open. Those fools! He would be discovered! He knew those girls would be the death of him. Planning an angry lecture out in his head, he stalked through the open door out to the edge of the lake only to see…..oh my God!

Erik stared in horror as he watched a scantily clad Alex jump off of a thin wooden board into the lake. What was she thinking? She would drown! Not thinking, Erik immediately shed his cape and dove into the water. Charlie and Robin stood on the corner of the lake watching Erik swim out to Alex. Damn this wasn't going to end well.

Erik reached Alex and began pulling her to shore. Alex, having absolutely no idea what was going on, started trying to hit him.

"What the heck are you doing? I can't swim if you're holding onto me! Let go!" With that, she started trying to kick him too, not thinking of the consequences. Both of them started to sink. Erik, being the stronger of the two, tried to pull them up again. Alex, letting her pride get in the way, refused to be saved. She started struggling again. This time they sank and didn't come up. Robin and Charlie decided it was time to do something. Robin jumped in and pulled Alex up, while Charlie swam over and began dragging Erik to shore.

"Erik don't panic! I'll save you!" Charlie pulled Erik to shore and attempted to give him mouth to mouth resuscitation. Erik was, however, conscious and shoved Charlie away.

"What did you think you were doing? You could have died!"

"Well you could have killed me! Why were you trying to drown me?"

"I was saving you! Women can't swim" This was a very grievous mistake for Erik to make, because immediately Alex's eyes were ablaze with fury.

"¡Usted cerdo sexista! ¡Por supuesto sé nadar! ¿Usted piensa que soy estúpido?"

"Yes."

"híbrido"

Just as Alex was about to lunge at him, a bright flash blinded everyone. When they looked up they saw…….

"GARRETT!" The three girls ran over to a short boy with brown hair, who was very confused.

What the hell? He thought. Oh this must be a dream. No wonder Charlie, Robin, and Alex were hugging him in bikinis, wait is that Erik? Oh yeah this is totally a dream. He must have hit his head.

"Garrett, what are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, I'm having a dream that's why-oh never mind you'll hit me. Wait, no you won't it's a dream you'll hug me and call me cute. I love bikinis. You have to feed me grapes now. Charlie start dancing. Alex fan me, and Robin, tell me how great I am."

"What are you talking about Garrett?" Alex asked.

"This is a dream. That's why you guys are in bikinis." Charlie you look better in red go change into a red one now. I don't mind watching." Suddenly, all the girls took several steps back from him, strangely hostile looks on their faces. Why are they looking at him that way? This was a dream. Obviously Alex and Robin were mad that he didn't comment on their clothes. Now they'll probably start fighting over him. "So where's the mud pit?"

"las señoras, estén preparadas para atacar en tres." Alex took a menacing footstep forward, Robin and Charlie did the same. Erik meanwhile was confused and slightly amused and decided the best thing to do was sit back and watch.

"Oh no, I feel this becoming a nightmare. Go attack armor 3." He made a cool pose while waiting for his awesome battle armor to appear, but it didn't.

"What's going on, nothing is going right, I'm getting so totally jipped." The girls were still advancing angrily, now carrying weapons. What the hell? How did Alex get a lightsaber? Garrett's eyes widened considerably. Oh crap Charlie had a flame thrower, and Robin had a rocket launcher. This was a bad dream. He had to wake up quick. Garrett sprinted over to Erik and did something stupid.

"Hey stupid mask guy, hit me." Erik, until this point was fine with the unusual strange man who fell from the sky and started terrorizing the others and making inappropriate comments. Actually he found it quiet amusing, but when the insults were directed at him in his own home, that's when things got personal.

"I would be obliged to meet your request." Erik had a maniacal look in his eyes as he began striding up to the foolish little man. Garrett, realizing he had said the wrong thing, looked for the first thing that he could protect himself with. He looked around and found…a stick? Oh well a stick will work. He picked it up and began waving it around madly.

"Ha ha! I shall defeat you with only this stick! With my amazing dream-ninja skills, I need no other weapon." Garrett proudly boasted, still believing everything to be a dream. After he had defeated Erik then the girls would feed him grapes.

All four of them began circling Garrett with murder in their eyes. Garrett began swinging his stick in all directions trying to defeat Erik and impress the girls. Instead, he hit the side of Erik's house. Suddenly, his stick broke. Oh shit. Thinking quickly Garrett threw the rest of his stick at Erik. Erik stepped to the side, dodging the stick. Garrett, panicking grabbed Erik's arm in an attempt to save himself and steal the Punjab Lasso. Erik regarded the boy coldly and threw him into a wall. It was only then Garrett realized this was no dream.

"I'm bleeding, ouch, wait! I don't get hurt in dreams! Oh shit, where's the rum, I need the rum!" Garrett knew he could distract Alex and Charlie with rum, if those two were distracted he might have a chance to fight and save himself. "Ah ha!" He pulled a bottle of rum randomly out of his never-ending pockets. "Uh, look, rum!" Alex and Charlie were immediately mesmerized. He waved the rum bottle in front of their faces. "Okay, fetch!" He chucked it as far as he could. A splash was heard.

"Rum!" Alex and Charlie pushed each other out of the way, each trying to get to the rum first. They both jumped into the lake at the same time. Robin stared at Garrett in horror.

"Are you crazy? They'll drown!" With that, Robin dived in after them.

Erik may have been distracted if the boy had thrown morphine, but rum did not distract him. He continued his way toward the foolish child, pulling his Punjab lasso tight as he walked.

"Crap, I need another stick!" Looking around on the ground he randomly found…….a bigger stick. Where are these sticks coming from? Oh well.

Just as he lifted up his newly acquired stick, Erik threw his Punjab lasso. Unfortunately for Erik, Garrett just happened to lift his stick up to the level of his eyes, and caught the Punjab around it. Throwing it back at Erik, he moved into a fighting stance, holding the stick over his head like a sword.

Meanwhile, Charlie and Alex were still struggling in the lake over the rum. "God damn it! Would you guys just let go! If you keep this up, we're all going to drown!" Robin tried to pull them apart, only to be hit by both of them. "Fine!" With that they all started to sink slowly, unnoticed by Erik and Garrett.

"Take that!" Garrett threw a rock at Erik, hoping to catch him off guard so that he could attack him, instead enraging him further. Erik growled and melted into the shadows, hoping to catch Garrett by surprise. Unfortunately for him, Erik did not know that Garrett's SAD identity was that of a mad ninja, therefore also enabling him to melt in to the shadows. They then proceeded to have an epic shadow-battle. I would describe this to you, but as it was in the shadows, I can not.

Suddenly the unthinkable happened. "BENNY!" How the harpoon gun got in the bottom of the lake at the opera house, no one will ever know. Maybe it was fate, maybe it was an odd coincidence. Whatever the case maybe one thing was certain, a rum deprived, harpoon happy, drowning Charlie was a bad thing. Charlie happily swam to the surface, and, holding Benny happily over her head, fired him twice. Garrett and Erik stopped suddenly, hearing the harpoon gun fire. They stared in horror as the roof almost began to crumble. They both took a few seconds to react but then…

"YOU IDIOT!" They turned slowly toward each other, shocked looks on their faces.

"You think they're stupid, I think they're stupid!" They both went for a hug, and then they realized, no, so instead they shook hands.

"I apologize for my earlier actions, I see now that you too suffer from their idiocy and lack of common sense." Just then, Charlie ran up to them.

"Guys you won't believe it, I found Benny!" Charlie waved the harpoon gun around excitedly. Just as they were both about to start yelling at her, Alex ran by holding the rum bottle.

"Bwhahahahaha! I have succeeded!" She ran past them, while trying to uncork it at the same time.

"You bitch!" Charlie, doing the first thing that came into her head, fired Benny at Alex. Alex, hearing the shot, turned around stunned, but instead of hitting Alex, the rum bottle in her hand exploded, showering her in glass. Both girls stood there stunned, then……

"NOOOOOOO!" Alex, bleeding and covered with rum, fell to her knees, weeping hysterically. Charlie did the same. Robin, walking over from the lake, saw this and, not knowing what was going on, also began to cry.

Erik and Garrett looked at each other and sighed. Damn it this would take a while.


	9. Drunken Adventures

RAFT tip of the day: Rapists are bad. Tip of the day provided by Tonto. As for our reviewers, you are slackers, get with it! Except for those of you who reviewed the last chapter. Oh, and a warning for all, do not try RAFT like activities at home, we in RAFT are professionals and have went through intensive training. That is all, read now.

Drunken Adventures

Two hours from when Garrett appeared…

Sounds of weeping could still be heard from everywhere in the opera house.

"Are they still crying because of that rum bottle?" Erik sighed in exasperation.

"Yeah, they do this whenever they can't have alcohol, or have it taken away. It happens more often then you think." Garrett makes a face used for flashbacks, and remembers all the times it has happened before. He snaps back cringing, "They usually don't last this long though. Maybe if we actually gave them rum, they would shut up. Or get drunk."

Erik shudders from the thought of the girls drunk, but hearing their continued howls was even less appealing. "Alright give them rum if it will shut them up." Garrett proceeded to pull out another bottle of rum from his never-ending pockets. Erik stared. How the heck did those fit in there? He threw it to Alex, who stopped crying immediately. She squealed happily, Charlie and Robin rushing over to her. They all began fighting over the bottle. Garrett quickly threw two more bottles of rum at Charlie and Robin.

Three hours later…

The girls, drunk off their asses, had gone their separate ways. Charlie crept into Erik's room and decided to explore a little. She found a closet and opened it. Inside was a room filled to the ceiling with masks. Apparently the mask Erik wore was not the only one he owned. Without delay, Charlie started stealing his masks. Suddenly Erik walked through the door. Charlie, who was still drunk, was not thinking as clearly as she could be, and decided that if she put her hands in front of her face Erik could not see her. This did not work.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh you can't see me."

"Yes I can." Charlie began singing in order throw Erik off. But something strange happened. It turned out that Charlie could sing incredibly well when she was drunk. This completely threw Erik off, which is exactly what Charlie wanted. As soon as he froze, she stumbled drunkenly out of the room, attempting to get out of his line of fire. Erik snapped out of his daze and grabbed Charlie by her neck and dragged her over to his organ. Erik started playing and demanded she sing. Why he did this, even he didn't know, but he had not heard anything like this since……well, since her.

"No! Come back here! What are you…..NO!" Garrett, meanwhile, had been chasing Alex all over the place. She was a very active drunk, and decided that she wanted to play tag. Until, of course, she found the diving board they had constructed earlier. She then decided she wanted to go swimming.

"No Alex! Drunk plus water equals death!"

"Garrett, I'm a fishy, and fish need water." Alex then jumped into the water.

"But I thought you were afraid of fish?" Alex paused for a second and then began screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!" Alex immediately began drowning. Garrett sighed in exasperation and dived in to save Alex.

Robin, being able to hold her alcohol better then Alex and Charlie, was more sober then they were and was exploring the great extant of the dark corridors of the opera house. Damn she was lost. Wondering aimlessly Robin discovered stairs. Deciding that up was better then down she began to climb up them, thinking that they would lead to the upper levels of the opera house. Finally she found a corridor that seemed like it would lead somewhere. Going somewhere also sounded like a good idea.

Unbeknownst to Robin, one of the stagehands was also scoping out the lower floors of the opera house. Hearing the humming of a young girl he thought it was one of the sluttish choir girls having a stroll on her day off. This would be fun. After the slightly tall blond walked past the shadows in which he was hiding he jumped out and covered her mouth so she wouldn't scream and cause suspicion. Of course the blond was Robin and she had no way of crying out for RAFT. After the man had groped her in a few inappropriate places she bit his hand and called for RAFT.

Suddenly, from Erik's house Alex and Charlie heard a cry for RAFT, for no matter where a cry of rape is uttered the co-creators of RAFT will hear it. They immediately awoke from their drunken stupor, and dressed in their RAFT uniforms. Grabbing Garrett, Phantom and Zorro demanded he change into his RAFT costume.

As soon as they said this, a drum started beating. A thundercloud randomly appeared underground, and lightning flashed dramatically. Thunder crashed, and then, out of the mist, Tonto appeared. He strode over to them, arms crossed, feather in hair, and war paint clad. "How."

Back in the dark corridors Robin was struggling to get out of the stagehands grip. Then out of nowhere, Robin's sensei crawled over his foot. Instinctively he kicked the poor rat into the stone wall. When Robin heard the poor thing squeak she kneed the stagehand in the groin and started beating him senseless. Moments later the rest of the RAFT company arrived in full uniform. By this time the man was being held up by sias on the shoulders of his shirt.

"Guess we no needed here."

"Tonto what are you talking about, RAFT is never not needed!" Phantom and Zorro hit Tonto for dishonoring RAFT. Then they immediately ran up to the stagehand and began beating him up. This continued until Erik showed up out of nowhere, after noticing that everyone had left his house.

"Charlie, return to the house at once we have….business to take care of."

The others were stunned, why would Erik have business with Charlie? Could he be trying to lure her into a false sense of security so that he could finally take her out? Deciding to distract everyone, though she was starting to feel the hangover, Robin chimed in, "Garrett, I was wondering, how did you get here in the first place?" Charlie, also wanting to know, turned away from Erik to hear his story, which she had a feeling was going to be interesting.

Everyone started to walk back to Erik's house in normal clothing. "Well, it's quite interesting actually, when you guys left no one knew what had happened to you. I didn't really think anything of it though, I just thought you guys got lost trying to get to Hogwarts…again."

"That was a one time thing. Next time we won't get lost."

"Anyway, but then almost two months had gone by and you weren't back so that and the fact that I had finished the new communicators, I decided to see if you were hiding at Alex's house, or left some clues. Oh yeah here's your new communicators by the way." Garrett threw the communicators to the girls.

"Yay! new communicators…..ooooh what do these buttons do?"

"Those are the new hologram projectors, The green button projects the RAFT logo, the blue button projects your personal logo, the red button plays your theme song, the yellow button displays a hologram of yourself, and the big button does something really cool."

"I know! Its a self destruct button isn't it?" Charlie and Alex instantly grabbed one of the communicators and began playing with it trying to make it explode.

"No! You idiots you're gonna break it, I didn't put in a self destruct button."

Charlie and Alex were immediately discouraged, and saddened. "That's not cool, Garrett we demand self destruct buttons on our communicators."

"Maybe next time, but anyway back to the story, when I got to your house there was nothing and no one there. I thought you were hiding from me so I started looking for you. I had snuck into your laundry room, when I heard your mom, Alex. I have secretly always feared your mother, and seeing as I broke into your house to find you, I hid in the first place I could find, the dryer. Well I must have bumped the controls or something cause the next thing I knew I was spinning and falling and I found you in bikinis. You know the rest."

Charlie looked at Garrett with a mix of amazement, wonder, disbelief and anger. "You found the coordinates for Erik's house? I have been searching for those for three years! And you just by a fluke find them! Do you know how many places the dryer has sent me because I've been looking for those coordinates! Ghangus Khan is not a nice fellow Garrett!" Charlie lunged for Garrett's neck, and was tackled by Alex and Robin.

"NO! CHARLIE HE DIDN'T KNOW! IT WAS A MISTAKE!" Charlie continued to struggle against Alex and Robin trying to kill Garrett. "Charlie, it doesn't matter! You're already here! Look, Erik! See, Erik's here. It doesn't matter anymore. We're already here."

"Oh I forgot." Charlie stopped struggling and went to see Erik.

"Okay, lets go back now."

"Good, I was growing tried of this foolery." Erik lead everyone back to his house and dragged Charlie to his room. He started playing his organ again, but when Charlie started singing this time it sounded like a dying mongoose.

"I don't understand. You sang beautifully only ten minutes ago. What happened?"

"Oh I know! I know! I'm not drunk anymore. I only sing pretty when I'm drunk." Erik paused for a second left his room and returned a minute later with a bottle of red wine.

"Drink this." Charlie began chugging the wine, as Erik started playing his organ. Garrett, Robin, and Alex simply stared in wonder. Who knew Charlie was such a good drunken singer? Oh well. With that, the three of them went over to the lake. Swimming seemed like a good idea now.


	10. We're not in Paris anymore

Just a note to everyone, Zorro and I only write amazing chapters when we feel inspired. We only feel inspired when people review. Your laziness will make the story bad. Do you want that on your conscience? You now feel guilty don't you? I can sense it. You are now guilted into reviewing.

A few things to address, first of all, we do not mean to offend any Christians in this chapter. You'll see what I mean when you read it. Oh, and we make French people seem really stupid in this chapter, so yeah, please don't take offense, this is humor people. Second, if anyone is confused about the Dracula thing, there was actually a comic book called Zorro vs. Dracula. Yours truly came out on top of course. If anyone has seen the Zorro movies, you will understand why Charlie is dressed as a priest. Phantom and I sometimes have to become each other's sidekicks in order to boost our self-esteem. I really don't like turbans though. One more thing, we know that some time periods got mixed up in this one, but like I said before, this is a humor fic, so deal with it.

RAFT tip of the day: Pepper spray is a useful weapon against rapists, but is not a spray to make your breath smell better. It is also not a spice for food.

We're not in Paris anymore….

"Ccxbbd tfu d3e swa'kin #$Zd!&(HYERK8bicgj." Charlie mumbled drunkenly upon her awakening. Singing with Erik wasn't as fun as she thought it would be. But surely her amazing drunken singing would make Erik realize his love for her.

Charlie slowly tried to creep out of Erik's room. She was sick of red wine and wanted some food. She was just about to reach the door when Erik appeared from no where. How did he do that?

"Where are you going, you passed out after only three hours of practice. You wasted valuable time sleeping. Get back to the organ!"

Charlie sighed and dragged her feet to the organ. She could never refuse Erik, but she needed food. She was going to pass out.

"Guys, watch me do a cool trick!" Alex proceeded to do a somersault. Robin and Garrett sat at Erik's table, not impressed.

"Alex, anybody can do a somersault, watch this." With that, Robin flipped out of her chair and landed next to her on the floor. Alex's lip trembled.

"Are you saying my trick was not amazing, do you mean that I'm not amazing? You bitch, how dare you!" She shook her fist angrily at Robin. Garrett watched on, wondering if they were going to start fighting soon. If only there was a mud pit….

Suddenly Charlie burst through the door. "Guys you have to hide me! Quick!"

"Charlie, you stole something didn't you?"

"No quick hide me! He's coming! I'm sick of red wine! I'm hungry, I want food!"

"Who's coming?"

"Erik!"

"What, you're running from Erik? Okay, who are you and what have you done with Charlie?"

"No it is me! I'm just sick of singing. I haven't eaten for three days! He won't let me leave. He can go for two weeks living on music but I can't! I had to knock over a candle and light his music on fire. Why didn't you come to get me?"

"We figured you would never forgive us." Charlie shook her head.

"I know this is a one time only thing, but you have to get me out of here." Suddenly, Charlie's Erik senses went off. "AHH, he's coming, quick, run away!" With that they all scattered, then, realizing they didn't know where they were going, they started following Charlie instead.

She led them to the _Rue Scribe. _Charlie, still panicking, took off down the street. Alex, not wanting to betray her co-creator, and being the only one who could not speak French, followed her. She caught up to her easily, and they were soon running side by side past all the confused French people.

"What now?" Alex and Charlie were now far ahead of Garrett and Robin, and both were getting quite tired. Time to do some scavenging.

Two hours later

"Bonjure. Tu as une visage fres maraise!"

"You bastard! How dare you insult us! ¡Usted cerdo francés!" Alex took off her shoe and threw it at the offending Frenchman, only too late realizing her mistake.

"You fool, now you have to run barefoot!" Charlie, actually having some common sense for once, grabbed Alex's arm and tried to pull her away. Suddenly, a whole mob of Frenchmen appeared behind the one Alex threw her shoe at. The girl's eyes both widened considerably.

"Goddamn, why is it every time we go outside we get chased by mobs?" Both of them turned and ran, the Frenchmen pursuing them. "You do know that French people like to guillotine people don't you? That will teach you to throw shoes!"

Robin and Garrett were casually strolling along the streets of Paris looking at street vendors and having a merry old time, when they suddenly heard screaming, and saw Charlie and Alex running away from an angry French mob. They blinked, looked at each other, and went back to shopping.

Alex and Charlie, still being chased by angry Frenchmen, were at their wits end. They were exhausted, hungry, and Alex still only had one shoe.

"What now?"

"I know, quick play dead!" The girls laid immobile and the horde of Frenchmen passed by, and continued in mob-like activities.

"Do you think they'll notice that they aren't following us anymore?"

"Of course not, playing dead always works when fooling Frenchmen. It's in _An Idiots Guide to Ruling France._" Alex stared at her. "What?" Alex shrugged and they both got up, and sneakily ran for the nearest alley.

Seeing as they were no longer confined underground in Erik's house, the girl's took this opportunity to do a little sightseeing.

"Oh I know, let's go find the Eiffel Tower!" Charlie exclaimed.

"How do we find it?"

"It's a tall metal tower, how hard can it be to find?"

6 hours later

"Not that hard to find, huh?" Alex glared at Charlie, and then glanced down at her now very sore feet. Charlie had tried to steal her another shoe, but was caught and had her ears boxed. Alex was sure it had affected her hearing, because she hadn't listened to a word she said for the last few hours.

"You have a metal bar?"

"No you deaf idiot! Where's the Eiffel Tower?"

"Well, if it's in Paris, and it's not here, that means we're not in Paris!"

"Wouldn't we notice if we were not in Paris?"

"Obviously not. Let's go find out where we are. I bet it's Romania."

"Romania?"

"I'm suspicious of the village folk."

"Hey, isn't that where Dracula lives" Alex hissed angrily and struck a dramatic pose. "I will defeat this undead menace, if my name isn't Alejandra de la Vega!" Charlie clapped enthusiastically.

"Yay, go Zorro!" With that, Alex's dramatic clothes changing music suddenly started playing out of nowhere, and she was suddenly in her RAFT uniform.

"Away!" She swept away down the dark alley, Charlie following.

Garrett and Robin, after having some tea at a café, had decided to go their separate ways.

Garrett had been wandering around Paris trying to decide what to do when suddenly he looked up and noticed something. Berets. A slow maniacal grin covered his face as he pulled out his bow and arrows. He attached a rope to the arrow, and lined up a shot, the grin never leaving his face.

"But all he would give me is marbles! Honestly!" For the past hour, Robin had been unloading her sorrows on a very kind man she found up in a bell tower. The place was called Notre Dame or something. She was quite sure Charlie would like this guy, as she was into the disfigured sort.

"That's too bad, what have you been doing since then?"

"Oh, well my friend Garrett came, and my sensei too, but not much else. What about you Quasimodo?"

"I ring bells."

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Suddenly, they heard a loud crashing sound come from below the church, accompanied by yelling. They walked over to the ledge, and, looking down, saw something they were not expecting.

"And God left his palace from the cloud kingdom he shared with the carebears on a flaming chariot, and told Moses to build a boat and defeat the giant." Charlie stood at a podium and solemnly recited her sermon.

Alex believed that Dracula would be in this building that looked strangely like Notre Dame, but couldn't possibly be because they were in Romania, and so she hatched a daring plan.

They stalked a vampiric looking man to this church, and gasped in shock when he just waltzed right in. Figuring it some sort of vampire trick, they decided to infiltrate. Charlie, in her priest form, had been cornered by churchy looking people, and told she was late for the service. She was pulled and placed in front of a group of people seated on benches. She quickly made up some prayers and went into her sermon.

While she was distracting the congregation, Zorro challenged "Dracula" to a duel by slapping him with her glove. He immediately took offense, and pulled out his weapon of doom, an incredibly long loaf of French bread. She was mildly surprised that he chose to fight with such a French weapon, but then decided that it must be another trick to throw her off her guard.

With that, their epic battle in the church yard ensued. Because Alex swore a lot, and "Dracula" kept throwing French insults at her, which she found slightly strange, but must be another trick, Charlie had to up the decibels of her sermon so that the congregation would stay distracted.

"AND MOSES SAID, "GOD, WHY THE LIONS?"

"AND GOD SAID, "WHY NOT?" THEN GOD SAID "FEED THE PRIEST, AND HERES THE COLLECTION PLATE. CONTINUING…..

Robin, who had heard the whole thing, decided that it was time for her to intervene. Knocking out a random nun and stealing her robe, she tried to sneak into the service.

"Hijo de puta! You dastardly blood sucker! You will now die!" Alex then pulled out a wooden stake, and tried to stab "Dracula" through the heart. Robin was panicking now. Charlie was conning people and stealing their money, and Alex was about to kill somebody she thought was a vampire. She decided to do the only thing she knew would stop them. She shed the nun robe as she ran, and exited the church and ran out into the street. She took a deep breath, and screamed as loud as humanely possible.

"RAFT! HELP! I'M BEING RAPED!"

Charlie and Zorro stopped in the middle of their actions. Charlie quickly concluded her service and took the money.

"And God said "Go home I'm tired." She changed and in a flash was with Zorro in the church yard. "Dracula", being abandoned in the middle of their fight, shrugged and left. They looked at each other, nodded, and went off toward the cry for RAFT. They surrounded Robin, looking for the rapist.

"It's okay miss, RAFT is here, now we shall smite the rapist. Where is he?" Robin then threw off her habit, which she forgot she was wearing before, and crossed her arms in front of her chest, glaring at them.

"Robin, what are you doing here? Oh, wait, you heard the cry for RAFT of course. Good job. Come, let's find the rapist, hey where'd the chick go?"

"Phantom, I was the girl."

"Robin, oh no I'm so sorry, are you okay? Where's the rapist?"

"There was no rapist."

"But we heard a cry for RAFT."

"I did it."

"So you were raped?"

"No."

"Then why did you call for RAFT?"

"You were conning people! And Alex almost killed an innocent church-goer! Are you two crazy?" Alex and Charlie stared at Robin in disbelief.

"Robin, you abused RAFT. You know the rules. How could you?"

"That's not the point! I'm lecturing you, listen!" Suddenly, the congregation came out from the church and started shaking Charlie's hand.

"Father, that was the best sermon I've heard in years."

"Yes, absolutely wonderful."

"Thank you my children." Charlie was suddenly back in her priest form again, and she began shaking the hands of all the people in the church. Alex and Robin stared in disbelief.

Meanwhile, Erik had been looking for the four of them for, well for a really long time. He was getting rather sick of this game of hide and seek they were playing. When he found them..…well he couldn't guarantee the nicest greeting.

"I know you are here, come out now and I might not kill you….." He opened a door, "And you are not here." This pattern had been going on for a long time now. Maybe he should expand his search area. Alright, off to the upper levels. Why were they such a hassle? Maybe he should get a pet rock. A pet rock wouldn't run away or make him go insane…..er.

The girls were strolling along the streets now, none admitting they were actually rather lost.

"Hey Robin, how did you get to Romania?"

"We're not in Romania. We're in Paris."

"No, we're not, there's no Eiffel Tower."

"The Eiffel Tower wasn't built until 1889."

"Ooohhhhh."

"Then what was Dracula doing in Paris? That bastard!" Robin just sighed in exasperation and shook her head. There was just no reasoning with them sometimes.

Suddenly Garrett walked by wearing 20 berets on his head. The girls stared. Behind Garrett was a trail of Frenchmen screaming in agony. For a Frenchman has no power and will die without his beret.

"Garrett! Stop stealing French people's berets. You know it's rude!"

"No, you can't make me give them back." He pointed an accusatory finger at them. "You horrible RAFT members!" The girls stared at him, utterly appalled, then took off chasing him down the street.

"Garrett, you bastard! How dare you!" They continued chasing him, completely forgetting about the Frenchmen. It was a little past dusk at this point, and the Paris night life was just starting to come alive. One place in particular was alive with lights and laughter, a giant windmill marking it's location within Montmartre, the very place they were running toward now.

"You'll never catch me, ha ha!" Garrett stuck his tongue out at them and swerved right, skidding to a stop before the lighted building. He then turned around very slowly, his wide eyes resting on Alex. Robin and Charlie slid to a stop beside him, both turning to look at Alex in horror. Her face was masked in surprise, but another look was slowly replacing it. It was a look of absolute and inexplicable glee. In front of them, the Moulin Rouge readied itself for the coming night.

"Oh shit."

"Umm, guys, do you think we should do something?" But before she could be answered, Alex ran, more like flew, into the Moulin Rouge. I'm afraid to say that what happened next was so horrifying for them, that it must wait and be put into the next chapter.


	11. Chaos at the Moulin Rouge

RAFT tip of the day: If you are being called every five minutes by someone with a creepy voice, they are either a phone stalker or telemarketer. Either way do not encourage them.

Chaos at the Moulin Rouge

Night had fallen on Paris and Erik was out on the streets looking for the four delusional delinquent dimwits. He had realized they were missing and lost in Paris hours ago, but he had decided not to go look for them until night. Not because he feared being seen. No, if they were loose he could walk around without a problem. But the real reason he hadn't gone looking for them is because it would ruin his pale complexion. He burned easily, and no one would be intimidated by a sunburned opera ghost. How could he scare ballet rats if he was as red as a cherry tomato? Cherry tomatoes are not intimidating. And so as such Erik waited until night had fallen to go look for the dimwits.

He hadn't been on the surface world for very long when he stumbled across a trail of beretless Frenchmen writhing in agony. They had passed this way. Erik kicked one of the Frenchmen and continued on his Paris saving mission.

"Okay, when she comes around this time, I'm going to lasso her while you two cut the ropes. On the count of three, one, two……………thr…..dammit!" They watched in resignation as Alex swooped happily through the air on her swing, for the 72nd time.

"Okay that didn't work, this time Robin, I want you to leap at Alex and tackle her to the ground."

"Wait Charlie I don't think-"

"Robin do not question me what are you waiting for, go! GO!" All of a sudden, Charlie threw Robin at Alex taking both of them off guard. They fell in a heap to the ground, knocking several can-can dancers to the ground with them. Charlie stared at them for a minute, then walked away. There had to be something fun to do around here.

"It was the most amazing sermon I had ever heard, I hope the father preaches again next week. Who knew Moses saved the pandas, and defeated the Chinese?" Erik listened to the two men walking in front of him with interest. He thought the sermon sounded suspicious, but would anyone really have let one of those fools speak in public? It couldn't have been them.

"The only odd part was someone yelled this odd cry of boat or canoe or something like that, and the father left all of a sudden." Now Erik was sure it was them. He had better find them soon. God knows what other chaos they had been causing.

"I heard a rumor that a Spanish man was fighting someone in the yard of Notre Dame." Yep, it was definitely them. He took off into the shadowed alleys then, following the trail of chaos they had unknowingly created.

"Here take this brochure, note the highlighted part demonstrating how corsets harm your digestive tract and makes your lives shorter." The can-can dancers stared at Charlie in confusion. Was this girl crazy? They all scoffed at her and left to swindle old rich men. Charlie looked at the fallen brochures in dismay. So many lives she could have saved. Oh well. Hey was that rum?

"Est-elle blessée?" Robin groaned in pain. Her head was killing her. And who were all these people standing around her? Though she recognized the French they were speaking, it still seemed slightly foreign on her tongue. "Honey, you okay?"

"Uh, who are you?" Suddenly a man with red hair and a mustache and goatee appeared and started talking to the girls surrounding Robin.

"What are you doing, the customers are being ignored, return to work at once." The can-can girls around Robin left, leaving Harold Zidler and one other dancer. "Why aren't you in costume Fifi?" He then turned to the dancer beside her. "Take her backstage and get her ready immediately."

"Fifi?"

"Hurry up, the customers are waiting" Robin stared at Zidler in a confused manner as the whores dragged her away.

"Whoo hooo!" Alex was doing the can-can rather violently, scaring everyone around her, leaving about a five-foot radius around her from the other dancers. She had swiped a costume from a random can-can girl earlier, and was having the time of her life. Except when old men tried to feel her up. That was kind of creepy. Anyway, she danced until she could dance no more, then went in search of Christian. The gorgeous fantabulous adorably cute writer whose heart she was going to steal. Yup, that's what would happen. Never mind that he was in love with Satine, she was sure that after taking one look at her he would fall madly in love with her. Yup, that's right. Besides they both had red hair.

After fruitlessly trying to lure Alex from the swing, Garrett ran off in search of more, leisurely activities. He scanned the area trying to find something of interest when suddenly, he spotted one of his own. Garrett ran over to a seven foot tall Indian holding a box of cigars.

"How my brother." The Indian stared back at him, completely still. Garrett frowned confused. "Why you not talk?" Still the Indian stared at him. He poked him, and was horrified to find that the Indian was made of wood. How dare they fool him! They must be trying to catch him off guard, then steal his berets. Those bastards! He turned around then, intent on informing the girls of this treachery, when he found himself surrounded by can-can dancers. Dear lord! They must be in on it too!

"Salut, comment vous faisant le sucre?" Garrett stared back at the whore suspiciously, then at the rest of the brightly colored dancers surrounding him. He glared at them then, realizing they had surrounded him and were probably trying to destroy him, and began to reach for his bow and arrows. Garrett panicked when he realized they were gone. Those suspicious looking women must have stolen them! Damn them, he must find the others quickly, or else suffer a humiliating death at the hands of feather-covered floozies!

Charlie was happily drinking at the bar. Somehow she had been able to convince the bartender that she didn't need to pay for her drinks, by talking very rapidly in a Irish accent, and showing some ankle. For everyone knows that men from the nineteenth century are easily seduced by ankles. She was about to take another swig of her rum, when suddenly she was grabbed by the shoulder and yanked into the shadows.

"Ah let me go! You son of a Belgium!" Charlie attempted to twist the man's elbow and knee him in the gut, but was easily defeated, and blocked. Charlie was going to resort to plan B when she noticed who grabbed her.

"Erik! What are you doing here? I missed you so much! I'm sorry I ever left you, I can tell by the look on your face that you missed me too." Charlie attempted to hug Erik, but he managed to keep her an arm's length away.

"You fool what do you think you are doing here?"

"Well Alex and I were in Romania, where she found "Dracula" and had an epic battle, and I had to distract the Romanians by giving a sermon, did I tell you I'm a priest? I got ordained over the internet. That means I can marry us! Isn't that great? Well anyway I was talking about Moses and the lions, when someone called for RAFT. Zorro and I epically rushed to the scene, only to discover that it was Robin who had been raped. She's still in such a state of shock that she won't admit it, but we scared away the rapist. Then we found Garrett and he had stolen berets from these Frenchmen, and I think he insulted us but I don't remember what he said, but we began chasing him, and trying to kill him. That went on for a while, until Alex found the Moulin Rouge, and ran in. Garrett, Robin and I all panicked. Alex found a swing, I threw Robin, and then I found rum and you came and grabbed me and I told you I loved you and-"

"ENOUGH!" Charlie stopped immediately, as she always did when Erik said something. Suddenly Robin danced by with the other can-can dancers, wearing costumes and makeup like the rest of them. They both turned and stared as she began to seduce rich French men, and as they watched, began taking off her fishnets, when Charlie decided it was time to intervene.

"ROBIN NOOOOO!" Charlie leapt dramatically from her place next to Erik and tackled Robin. They rolled around a few times, knocking over a few other dancers, until they finally rolled to a stop. "Robin, what are you doing? Why are you dressed like that? Why are you stripping for that guy, he hasn't given you rum yet! Don't you know anything?" Robin looked at her curiously.

"Do I know you?" Charlie stared at her in horror.

"You don't remember me? Or RAFT, or Alex, or Erik, or Zach, or…."

"No, I do not know you, now if you will excuse me, I must get back to work." With that, she began strutting away to rejoin the other dancers. Charlie looked at Robin, Charlie's eyes began to water, and her lip began to quiver, and then Erik appeared over her shoulder, startling them both. Robin stared at the intimidating black specter in fear, so afraid that she could not move. Erik sighed, obviously annoyed, and turned to look at Charlie.

"She does not remember anything?" Charlie nodded, still sad that Robin did not remember her. "Then she must have somehow hit her head, causing temporary amnesia." He smirked sadistically. "Luckily, that is easily remedied." With that, he threw Robin at the wall, head first, taking particular pleasure in the bump he heard as her head hit. Charlie stared at Erik, slightly afraid. It was obvious that he never forgave Robin for hurting Christine.

"Charlie? Ugh what happened? Why am I in a can-can dancer outfit?" Suddenly Alex ran by, also in a can-can dancer outfit, chasing a panicking, confused looking English writer. Robin and Charlie looked at each other, nodded, and took off chasing her, leaving Erik sighing in frustration.

"Alex, wait, this is against RAFT, look, rum! See rum! Yummy Yummy Rummy in your tummy. Robin this is serious she won't stop for rum!" They leaped over some dancers and a midget and kept running. Alex was now trying to reach him by holding onto the bottom of the swing and swinging back and forth, trying to grab him each time she went by.

"Oh all hope is lost, what will ever happen to RAFT, my co-creator has gone a-wall. Tonto is missing in action, and Robin is still recovering from head trauma!" Suddenly as Charlie was on the verge of an emotional break down Erik came to the rescue, wanting to get back to his Opera House as soon as possible. She slowly looked up, and saw his imposing figure standing over her. A light seemingly came out of no where and surrounded him, and angels sang out, and suddenly Charlie suddenly knew what to do.

"Okay Erik use your power over objects attached to the ceiling and get Alex down. I have Advil in my emergency supply pack, I'll give that to Robin. The moment she falls get the writer out of here, and Robin and I will tackle her, and show her a picture of Legolas, which is also in my emergency supply pack, and she will remember her love of him and all will be saved. Alright one two three go!" Erik rolled his eyes and swept away, turning his head to Alex, who was still trying to swoop down and catch Christian.

"Okay, Robin take these." Robin stared at the suspicious red and blue pills Charlie was holding in her hands. Why did this look so familiar? Oh well. She took them both in one gulp, and was surprised when she immediately felt better. They looked up just in time to see a black shadow flit across the balcony, and Alex's swing dramatically plummeting to the ground. Erik appeared behind Christian and, thinking quickly, tossed him over his shoulder, where he landed on a few can-can dancers. Erik shrugged, oh well.

As soon as Alex hit the floor, Charlie and Robin tackled her. Charlie pulled out a picture of Legolas and attempted to calm Alex down. "Look Alex it's Legolas! Oh such a pretty blonde elf. Ooh look at his pointy ears." Alex stared for a second, then began struggling again. Damn.

"It's not working, what do we do?" Alex had just cuffed Robin upside the head, and tried once again to run away. Charlie quickly pulled her feet out from under her. Just as she was about to resort to drastic measures, a troupe of can-can dancers marched by, holding Garrett above their heads.

"Put me down you high-heeled powder covered trumpets! You will pay for stealing my bow and arrows, if you don't put me down I shall call buffalo down to smite you!" All three girls stopped what they were doing and stared in horror. They kidnapped Garrett! How dare they! They looked at each other, nodded, and switched dramatically into their RAFT forms. They all posed while dancers around them stared in awe, but quickly ran after Garrett when they heard him yelling again.

"Quick, go into formation Delta, we will not let them get away with this!" They all dispersed. Raphael flipped in front of the whores, and twirled her pair of sais threateningly. Meanwhile Phantom began to throw rich French men at the whores, trying to distract them from Garrett. Unfortunately, it wasn't working.

"Hey put me down you crazy, cloaked covered, masked freak!"

"You bastard, how could you insult Erik in such a way!" With that, she threw the man through a nearby window, turned around, and dusted off her hands.

"What are you talking about? He insulted you, not me."

"Erik I am you and you are me, every insult I receive is an insult to you. I'm defending your honor."

"I am not you."

"It's okay Erik, I understand you must deny this to yourself to keep up your pride. I love you all the more for it." Erik sighed in annoyance and began walking away from her.

Getting back to the matter at hand Charlie turned around and discovered the whores mercilessly insulting Raphael.

"Fifi, you green insect how could you betray us? I lent you my blush. My blush!"

"Raphael has betrayed no one, her true allegiance was always to RAFT. How dare you insult her you vile…smelly French whore. I bet you're not even French, you're probably Dutch." Suddenly the whole crowd of whores fell silent. They all stared at Phantom angrily looking ready to kill. Zorro took that opportunity to swing from the ceiling with her whip and save Garrett. They landed a few feet away, Garrett taking this opportunity to transform into Tonto. The whores stared at them in shock. Phantom and Raphael quickly joined Zorro and Tonto.

Other whores began to surround the valiant RAFT members, for whores are a tight knit group, like ants. Phantom, sensing they might not win this fight quickly called to the one magnificent, dashing, awe inspiring, ray of hope she had, Erik.

"Erik quick do something!"

Erik, realizing if he ever wanted to see his opera house would have to help these delusional delinquent dimwits, began looking for the closest chandelier like object. What he found was a women in a very large frilly yellow dress. Oh well close enough. He quickly grabbed the women and threw her at the whores, they fell like dominoes. The RAFT members quickly stepped on the whores, reaching Erik, when suddenly, Zidler appeared.

"How dare you injure my whores, no one wants to pay for a whore with a broken ankle." With that, dozens of policemen burst through the doors, causing mass chaos among the whores and rich men. Everyone began scrambling for the doors. In the middle of the confusion, all the RAFT members split up, each melting into the shadows, for almost every RAFT member has shadow-melting abilities according to his or her identity. All except for one. Zorro.

"maldígalo al infierno!" She jumped over random dancers and leapt to the side of cops pushing the crowd, trying to find the others in this chaos. Where the heck did they go?

She tried valiantly to find an exit, and failed magnificently. Pushing past whores and rich men, she finally found a way out, only to find it blocked by cops. They soon surrounded her, cutting off all ways of escape. She fought them off, and was almost succeeding, when out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of a rum bottle. Thoroughly distracted, the cops took this opportunity to beat her over the head, knocking her unconscious. They then carried her to the paddy wagon outside, and set off toward the jail.

Outside the Moulin Rouge at a corner street light everyone emerged from the shadows, no longer in their RAFT forms.

"Okay head count, Robin."

"Here"

"Garrett"

"Present"

"Erik"

"Hn"

"Okay Alex, Alex, Alex I'm waiting here, come on. Here Alex, Alex, Alex."

"Charlie she's gone."

"Where could she be?" Suddenly a paddy wagon rounded the corner.

"Oh shit."


	12. Viva la Liberation!

Sorry for the long wait! The final segment of A Pair of Ruby Slippers is finally here! Oh, and cheers to all our reviewers, we love you!

A/N: **WARNING**: This is the last and greatest chapter of this phic. I can feel your sadness already. It took us a great long time to write this chapter, incase you haven't noticed. Some things may get resolved, more questions may be raised. Erik may finally realize his deep love of me. Characters may die, but its okay I'm eating a pop-tart. Phantom

RAFT Tip of the Day: Always bring along your trusty toothbrush whenever you go out. It can double as a weapon to stab out a rapist's eyes, plus no one likes gingivitis.

Chapter 12

Viva la Liberation!

"Where were you on the night of May 18th?" The inquisitor stared Zorro in the eye, trying to intimidate her, but failed miserably. She sat up eagerly.

"May? What are you talking about? Are you telling me I missed Easter? No Easter bunny? Damn you all!" With that she threw a rock at him. He cursed her when it hit him in the forehead. Where the hell did she get that anyway?

"Guards!" Two very burly men came into the room and lifted her out of her seat.

"AHHH! What the hell! Put me down this instant!" Zorro twisted around, and managed to kick one of the guards in the shins. He yelped and accidentally hit his companion, who started to cry. The inquisitor sighed in irritation and grabbed Zorro by the collar, and threw her over his shoulder. "AHH, NOOOOOO! How dare you! Put me down! All of RAFT will hear of this, they will come and free me, just you wait! NOOOOOO!" The inquisitor finally came to her cell, and threw her in. She glared at him and shook her fist angrily. He glared back.

"You are obviously insane and delusional. Possibly even drunk. If you care to tell the truth, please send Pierre and Pierre to come get me." The burly men from earlier came up from behind him and stood menacingly. Pierre was still sniffling. Zorro threw her shoe at him on his way out. It came zooming back to her courtesy of Pierre. She managed to duck just in time. It made a crater in the wall behind her. Gotta stop keeping explosives in the shoes. Oh well. She cursed as the two Pierres closed the cell doors leaving her in the dark. Damn.

------------------------

"Whoa! Another ringer! It's your turn Robin." Currently the quirky, quarrelsome, quartet minus one was playing... horseshoes. Yes, horseshoes. Twas a sad day under the Opera Populaire when the members of RAFT were bored into playing horseshoes.

Robin was about to throw her horseshoe when Erik stepped in front of the pitching stick. In a moment of utter horror the horseshoe slipped out of Robin's hand and was heading towards Erik's head. Before anyone could react the horseshoe hit Erik rendering him unconscious.

"ERIK!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Why!? Why god why? Robin how could you? Is it because I threw you at a whore? Oh why must Erik always be the one to suffer?" Charlie was having an emotional breakdown, while hugging Erik's head. Had he been awake he would have thrown her into the lake.

"Uh Charlie Erik isn't dead. Charlie? Charlie? Oh crap we lost her. Okay Garrett go to the surface and get some smelling salts, and other head injury medicine. Oh and pick up some groceries we're running low on milk, oh and get me a magazine too." Garrett stood at attention and saluted Robin and took off. "Okay Charlie time to let go of Erik's head."

Two Hours Later

"Hey, guys I'm back!"

"Oh great come over here." Robin held the smelling salts under Erik's lack of nose and then jumped away. Who knows what a groggy phantom could do.

"Ugh." Charlie stood back from Erik with hearts in her eyes. Her love brought him back to life! They were meant to be! "What happened?"

"Uh, you hit your head on a low hanging ceiling. Geez Erik you should be more careful." Robin stated trying to save her neck. God knows what he'd do if he found out she'd knocked him out.

"Wait a minute Robin I thought you--"

"Hey check this out. _Masked vigilante to be guillotined on the seventh_. _This masked menace was caught at the Moulin Rouge and is being held at the county jail. The masked fiend is thought to also be responsible for mass rioting, harassing citizens, and stealing fruit_. Man it's a good thing they caught this guy. He sounds like a real danger. Oh look here's a picture and everything, says he's Spainish too. What's with the long curly hair? The fiend!" Charlie and Robin nodded in agreement.

"Yeah I feel safer with the likes of him off the street." Erik stared at them. They couldn't be that dumb could they? Garrett continued reading the article with the girls nodding along. Oh dear lord they were that dumb!

-------------------

"Fly my pretties! BWHAHAHAH---No! What are you doing Fredrick? Spain's the other way! The other way! NOOOO!!!! Goddamn bird! I knew you were French! Goddam---Ow Pierre that hurt!" Zorro shook her fist angrily at the French guard. Okay, so her plan to tame a pigeon and send a message to the others was foiled, but that didn't mean she still couldn't break out on her own! Who needs stupid birds anyway? Zorro stood up and posed epically while the other jailbirds looked on in awe. Then Pierre smacked her with his club.

"OW! Damn you Pierre, I'll get you, just wait! And I'll get you're little friend too!" She pointed to the other Pierre, who was cowering in the corner. Damn French guards. Screw them all. With that, she started up a game of charades with the other jailbirds. Prison sucked.

-----------------------------------------

"Let's try this one more time. Who do you know that is Spanish and has red hair?" Charlie and Robin pondered this before Charlie jumped out of her chair.

"I know! It's Antonio Banderas!" Robin rolled her eyes.

"Charlie, Antonio Banderas does not have red hair."

"Well then who do you think it is?"

"I think it'------------"

"It is your friend Alex you fools! Are you truly so incompetent that you did not recognize her from the detailed description of her physical features?" Charlie and Robin blanched and turned to look at Garrett. He shrugged.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that? It was obviously Alex, who else could it be?" Charlie shook her fist at him.

"Then why didn't you say so? What do we do?" Garrett blinked.

"I don't know. She's in jail isn't she? Doesn't look like we can get her out very easily." Charlie gaped at him.

"You'd give up just like that? Alex would never give up like that! You are not worthy of being my co-creator! Come! We must go save Alex! Away!" With that, Charlie swept out of the room. They all stared after her. Looks like they're screwed.

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"Oh French bread! My turn, my turn!" Zorro got up in front of the prisoners and began her plan. She picked up a rock that one of the Pierre's threw at her and walked slowly over to the guards.

"You're robbing a bank! You're a tap dancer!" Zorro grabbed the back of the guard's clothes, and smashed the rock into his head. She grabbed the keys and opened the door. "Breaking out of jail! Oh monopoly get out of jail free card!" Zorro whooshed away into the hallway, leaving her fellow prisoners still guessing her charades.

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Salty Sam, the seaman who conned Charlie, sat on a dock whittling his legs into harmonicas, when suddenly...

"Ah me eye!" Salty Sam looked down and saw a decrepit looking bird, lying on its side flapping its wings. "Arr you little bugge' you got me good eye." Salty Sam was about to punt kick the bird when he noticed a note tied to it's leg.

_My brethren,_

_I have been imprisoned in a French jail and sentenced to be executed. Come save me! The Pierre's have stolen my whip, and mock me daily, plus the fellow prisoners suck at charades. Gather all the aid you can, and come get me!_

_Your honored and revered hero,_

_Zorro_

"Arr I will answer your call Zorro my brother. Too long the French 'ave wrongfully imprisoned the seafaring folk. Peg Leg Pete go an' get everyone together we got a jail to liberate!" With that, he and the other sea-faring pirates gathered their rum and began their journey to France.

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"Okay everyone know the plan?" Charlie, Robin, Garrett, and Erik stood outside the jail in a dark alleyway. They were all dressed in camouflage & war paint, aside from Erik who threatened to gut Robin if she put makeup on his mask.

"Alright. Operation Free the Spaniard commence!" The four of them split up and went their separate ways to search for Alex.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Erik slinked down the hallways trying to locate the area with the most noise and Spanish cuss words. Suddenly, a hand shot out of the darkness and grabbed his cape.

"Please sir, I'm so hungry, a bit of bread if you don't mind." Erik stared down at the shrunken prisoner, before flicking his cape out of the stranger's grasp and continuing down the hallway.

"It won't matter either way. Soon this entire place will be burned to the ground. Mark my words; you will have your freedom." The prisoner stared after him until he turned the corner. There a peculiar sight met his eyes.

"Alex, what on earth are you doing?" Currently, Zorro was standing outside the cell, her head stuck between the bars.

"Erik is that you? Thank goodness! Help me please." He walked over to her, grabbed her arms, and jerked her backwards.

"Ouch! Thanks Erik. I got locked outside my cell." Erik slapped his forehead in frustration.

"Did you not think that that might have been your chance to escape?" Zorro nodded.

"Yeah, but I couldn't find the exit, so I was going to find my sword and break through the window, but my cell door locked so I tried going through the bars.

"And you got stuck."

"Yup. So what are you doing in jail?"

"You're friends have come to rescue you."

"Charlie realized that I can't be replaced as Co-creator?"

"Apparently Garrett has no leadership skills."

"No duh. So, how do you get out of this place?" Erik gracefully slit a guard's throat that had snuck up on them before turning back to her.

"This way."

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yahadadadadada. Yadadadadadadada." Garrett was currently entertaining guards, keeping them distracted. He started doing the Can Can in the middle of the hall, effectively blocking the rest of the guards from finding the others. Of course the "magic elixir" AKA vodka he gave them earlier, also helped a bit.

Garrett got on the table and started doing a jig when...

"Whoa take it off!" Okay enough "magic elixir" for him. Time to inform the others. He got out his communicator and Robin's face popped up.

"Phase one is complete. Proceed with Phase two."

"Roger that." He put his communicator away and resumed dancing on the table. This was going to be a long night.

Charlie and Robin were currently looking for Alex's cell.

"Okay Robin stand guard I'll check out this room." Charlie jimmied the lock open and entered the room. Robin was keeping a constant vigilance outside the room, when suddenly...

"Bwaha! We have you now!" Four guards jumped from the ceiling surrounding Robin. Just then Charlie burst forth from the room covered in ammunition and explosives.

"Say hello to my little friend!" Charlie began firing at the guards until she ran out of ammo. "Alright it's time for the big guns!" With that, she pulled out a pack of dynamite and began lighting them.

BOOM! "Charlie put the explosives down!"

"Hahaha! Take that and that!" She ran down the hallway with her sticks of dynamite, throwing them randomly at guards. Robin finally grabbed her and took away the dynamite.

"Aww, come on!" Robin shook her head.

"Keep to the plan! It **was **your idea." At that, Charlie nodded enthusiastically.

"You're right!" With that, they leapt through the holes Charlie made in the wall, and snuck down the left corridor; the opposite of which was being held by Garrett.

----------------------------------

"Come we are to meet in the courtyard." Alex looked up from stabbing another guard.

"Right." She and Erik made their way to the meeting spot, while killing more guards.

---------------------------------

"Um, Robin...I just realized something. You know how I made up the plan?" Robin nodded. "Um, well, I made it without knowing what the jail looked like, and I don't think this is the courtyard. They looked around. They were surrounded by guards, and had their backs to the window.

"Great, just great. Whatever do we-----Charlie, what are you doing?" Charlie was currently standing next to the wall, her hands over her eyes.

"Shhh; I'm camouflaged, you can't see me." Robin slapped her forehead. Suddenly a guard lunged forward, sticking the point of his spear in her side, poking her.

"Ow! Shit, Charlie we have to get out of here! Charlie?"

"Wheeee!" Charlie had jumped out of the window and was diving down to the ground, when she pulled out her Punjab, and lassoed a flagpole swinging around back to Robin.

"Quick Robin grab my hand!" Robin leapt just as the guards moved in on her, and they both swung down to the ground.

"Hurry we gotta find Erik!"

------------------------

"More, more!" The guards were cheering on Garrett, not letting him leave. "Encore, encore!" He couldn't get out, he tried magic tricks, tried to make himself disappear, and tried being bad to be booed out. Nothing worked! Looks like he'll have to resort to Plan B.

"Aloha dadadadad something something aloha." Yes, he had to hula dance his way out. Whipping a grass skirt out of nowhere, he slowly made his way to the door.

"Everybody hula!" The guards blinked, then broke out in cheers, and began to hula dance. Garrett finally made his way out, and made a run for it, jumping over Erik's fallen foes. Jumping out a giant hole in the jail, he finally made it to the courtyard.

"Garrett! What took you so long? Wait why are you in a skirt? Are your legs shaved?"

"I go for 100 authenticity!" The girls sweatdropped, then began laughing at him. Erik growled in irritation.

"We don't have time for this! Move it!" As he said this, more guards and coated officers appeared intent on pursuing them.

"Shit! Run!" The group took off running only to run into another group of guards and officers. They turned again only to once again be blocked. Damn they were surrounded.

They began to run for any holes in the wall of guards they could find. The scrambling went on for several minutes, until the police arrived. Just as the group thought they could escape, a giant net fell on them, trapping them. Charlie fell to her knees in despair.

"Nooo, why God, why?" Garrett sighed.

"Not again. I knew this was a bad idea."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Checkmate. You lose again." Charlie cursed and hit her knee. That was the fourteenth time!

"Touché. Hey Zorro, what else is there to do in this dump?" Zorro looked up from her seat in her cell across from the others and came over to the bars.

"Well, we could always play charades." Zorro began to act out a scene from Casablanca when her gaze drifted to Robin, who was wearing a chef hat and holding...a tray of cupcakes? Oh of course! Robin was going to poison the guards and get them out of here. She knew she could always depend on Robin in a crisis.

"Hey! Pierres!" The Pierres looked over at Robin. "I made you some cupcakes. Have one. I put my secret ingredient in them." The Pierres grabbed each grabbed a cupcake and began eating.

"Psst Robin the secret ingredient is arsenic right?" Robin looked at Zorro and smiled brightly.

"No. It's love!" Zorro slammed her head against the bars on her cell. Damn. The Pierres began gushing over Robin's cupcakes. She gave them more, and they munched on them happily. She began speaking to them rapidly in French, and one of them waved his hand dismissively while reaching to take another cupcake.

"Robin, what'd you tell them." Robin blinked and looked over at Zorro before answering.

"I asked them not to execute us. I promised that if they didn't, I would bake them more cupcakes."

"Really! Then when can we get out of here?" Robin turned back to the Pierres and began speaking to them again.

"Um, they say in a few days, but they say that they can't let you go. They said that we can go because we speak French and I bake great cupcakes, but they can't let you go because you are a masked Spanish vigilante." Zorro's mouth dropped open. Those bastards!

"What? That's so cheap! I demand to be let out too. I------------Ouch! Pierre you bastard!" She rubbed her head where Pierre's club hit her. She shook her fist at him before sitting back down on her box. Tequila would taste really good right now...

--------------------------------------------------------

Salty Sam stood on the bow of his ship. "Arr don' worry we're a comin' Zorro, me brother. Me an' the crew will liberate you, an' beat those blasted Frenchies once and for all. Oh is that a seagull, arr, pretty."

------------------------------------------------------

"You may kill me today, but I will be avenged! The Spanish will come and take over France! They will make it part of Spain, and it will be known as Spance! My followers will rise up in revolt! They will--mmph" Zorro had been gagged as she was being led up to the guillotine. Erik and everyone stood handcuffed below the execution stand. Robin was trying to bribe the guards into giving them the keys, in exchange for more cupcakes. Garrett was happily eating said cupcakes, while Charlie was staring dreamily at Erik, who was picking the locks on his handcuffs.

"Hear ye hear ye! Today we are here to celebrate the execution of this masked Spanish vile evil doer." Zorro attempted to kick the speaker.

Charlie looked back at Erik and noticed that his handcuffs were off. He was currently massaging his wrists and staring warily at the guillotine in front of them, seemingly lost in thought. Charlie realized that if she were to be with Erik she must also be free, so in a burst of love-induced super strength, she snapped her handcuffs right off. The others turned to stare at her in shock.

"What? Love conquers all!" At that, Erik turned to her and motioned her to be quiet. The speaker was still going on about Zorro's crimes, and the guards were all watching him attentively. Erik whispered something in her ear and she nodded attentively. Then, with a swish of their matching black cloaks, they disappeared. Robin and Garrett blinked, and resumed eating cupcakes.

Phantom, Charlie, not Erik, stood atop the building directly behind the guillotine, ready for Erik's signal. He concocted a plan to save Zorro by having Phantom swing down by her Punjab and saving Zorro while Erik distracted the guards and freed Garrett and Robin. Currently, she was trying to find Erik in the crowd. His shadow blending ability was kind of inconvenient when you were trying to find him. Suddenly, a group of people began yelling in French right in front of the guillotine. There was Erik, swinging his sword at a group of bystanders. The guards rushed forward, leaving Zorro standing on the platform alone. This was her chance! Phantom swung down from the building after hooking her Punjab on a flagpole, and swung through the air. She snatched the surprised Zorro from her place on the platform and swung toward the building opposite it. Just as they were about to reach it, they began swinging back toward the platform. Goddamn not enough momentum.

"NOOOO! Why?" They both started screaming as the French people gasped and yelled below. Suddenly...

Smack! They smashed into the building they started from, leaving two imprints in the brick. They French people winced as they watched the two of them fall to the ground. Erik slapped his face, and stabbed a guard before moving toward them. Robin and Garrett looked up and decided at that time to help their fellow comrades. Robin took a bobby pin out of her hair and began picking the lock while Garrett began swinging his arms around like a club and knocking out all the people around them. Robin then began throwing her cupcakes at the surrounding officers and guards. BOOM!

"They do explode!" Robin undid Garrett's handcuffs, then, turning to each other, they nodded and changed into their RAFT forms before going and joining the others. The RAFT members and Erik were fighting to get to one another. Raphael was still throwing cupcakes left and right. Tonto was attempting to summon his herd of buffalo, and Zorro and Phantom were attempting to fight with concussions. They finally reached each other, and stood back to back as guards and officers surrounded them. Suddenly they looked to the horizon... there in all his piratey seamanness stood Salt Sam. He raised his forked arm into the air, and yelled.

"Charge! In the name of the sea we will punish you!" Salty Sam began running towards the crowd, behind him charging an army of pirates.

"ARRR Avast ye matees!" Zorro cheered happily while the others stared open mouthed. What the hell?

"Hurray! My Spanish brethren have come at last! We're saved!"

"Umm, Zorro, I don't think that they're Spanish I think they---------" Tonto put his hand over Raphael's mouth.

"Shhh, let her think what she wants too." Just as Salty Sam and the others reached the crowd and began to fight, he happened to get a glimpse of them between the crowd.

"Arr you look awfully familiar. 'ey wait a minute. You be the lass that stole our anchor. Get 'er boys!" The pirates changed direction, and started coming for them instead. Zorro's jaw dropped and the others stared in horror as a large murderous mob filled with French people and pirates suddenly surrounded them.

"Damn it Zorro! Why of all the people in the world did you have to offend the only people that could of saved us?!"

"It could be worse, that angry mob that chased us in Romania could be here." Just as she said that, they appeared behind the pirates, angrily shaking their fists at Phantom and Zorro.

"Shit." Just as the large mob was about to charge them, the ground began to shake. Everyone stopped what they were doing and blinked in confusion. Suddenly, a monstrous roar shook the square, causing people to scream with panic. Everyone looked towards the horizon in fear, wondering what could be making such a terrifying sound. Squinting into the sun, Tonto could make out a large shape moving rapidly towards them. His eyes widened when he realized just what it was.

"Umm, guys, do you remember how in jail the other day I was really bored and started trying out new buffalo calls?" The others looked over to him and nodded. "Uhh, well, I think they worked somehow." The group looked to the horizon and there stood a dripping wet, seaweed clad giant water buffalo.

"Ah shit."

"ROAR!"

"Wait, when did buffalo make sounds like dinosaurs?"

"Who cares, run!" With that, everyone began screaming and running for their lives, completely forgetting about the RAFT members and Erik. They stood in the middle of the panic, torn between running with the crowd or staying and escaping through the city. Before they could decide anything, Tonto made a break for the giant buffalo.

"Betty! Wait for me!" They all gaped as he began running toward the giant buffalo, his arms outstretched. 'Betty' glanced over at him, unconcerned, as he devoured the closest one-story building. Phantom gasped in horror.

"Oh my God, it's true! I wasn't conned! Benny its time to save the day!" Phantom pulled Benny out from her shirt and began firing. She hit Betty in the kneecap, and he roared in pain. He turned his attention to Phantom as she shot again, this time hitting him in the nostril. He snorted, dislodging the harpoon from his nose and impaling a random French man in the process. Phantom readied another shot, when Tonto noticed that she had been trying to kill his precious Betty. He tackled her just as she shot again, missing Betty by a mile.

"No! Benny you have failed me!"

"How dare you try and hurt him! Give Benny to me!"

"No!" With that, they began wrestling over the harpoon gun, neither of them noticing the buffalo drawing closer to them.

"Umm, guys? Guys I think you should stop now..." Tonto and Phantom looked up at Robin only to be greeted by another sight. A very large, very angry water buffalo standing over them.

"Umm, nice water buffalo, nice--------" Betty roared in anger and they all cowered. Betty began sniffing them before he opened his mouth, and began lowering his head. Shit a giant water buffalo was going to eat them. Was there a more humiliating death?

"Oh Betty's going to give us a tongue bath, like we're her kids."

"Tonto you idiot! Betty's going to eat us!"

"Oh." Everyone stared up at Betty in horror, suddenly...

"Dammit I guess I've got no choice." Phantom reached into her emergency supply pack and pulled out...the ruby slippers?

"Hey, I thought those disappeared?" Phantom ignored the surprised looks of her comrades, and put on the slippers.

"Okay everybody group hug." Zorro, Tonto, and Raphael all grabbed Phantom. Erik stood there. He looked at Charlie. He looked at Betty. Back to Charlie, then Betty. Charlie, Betty, Charlie, Betty, Charl-- yeah, Betty...yeah definitely Betty. Just as Erik was turning toward Betty, Charlie grabbed the edge of his cape.

"There's no place like Alex's house, there's no place like Alex's house, there's no place li-----"

"Hey! Why does it have to be my house? Why can't it be yo-----"

"Shut up! This is an emergency! There's no place like Alex's house!" They disappeared just as Betty tried to eat them. With a flash of light, they appeared in Alex's basement, all in their civilian forms. They fell to the ground in a pile and groaned in pain.

"Robin, that's my ankle."

"Sorry." After untangling themselves, they all sat down on Alex's couches in silence. Robin, Garrett, and Alex all stared at Charlie while Erik paced the length of the room. He was obviously in Hell. They all must have died and now he was trapped in a room with them for all eternity. Yes, that must be it. He must escape, he must-----

"Why Charlie, why?" Charlie blinked and looked over at the others in confusion.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell us you had the ruby slippers the entire time? We could've gotten out of this mess ages ago! Why didn't you tell us?"

Charlie smiled at them cheerily. "Did you really think I was going to leave Erik?" Charlie looked over to Erik beaming happily. He was clawing desperately at Alex's fish tank.

"Oh God they have fish in Hell."


	13. will it go on?

Howdy, ever faithful readers!

Phantom here, bringing you news and asking your opinion on a very important matter. Zorro, and I were toying around with the idea of a sequel to _A Pair of Ruby Slippers. _What say you readers, should we write it? Erik in the future, with more misadventures, and more RAFT members. Your response is important to us.

Next matter of business Zorro and I are currently writing the prequel to A Pair of Ruby Slippers. It's called When Lifeboats don't fly, and you can find it on Zorro's home page, Shke Behet. Read about more of our awesome deeds, and hilarious adventures. And remember to review and tell us what you think about a sequel

-Phantom


End file.
